Well work was busier than all hell today and that was a good thing. It helped me keep my mind off of the surgical biopsy I have tomorrow. I have to be in the office for the prep at 11:30am the actual surgery is at 12:30pm. It should take about an hour from what the nurses said and that isnt too bad. They are going to be putting in a port that runs into a main vain in my neck so that drawing blood and other things are easier to do. The other item planned to do is slice open my skin right about the actual tumor and take a part of it out to study and determine what type of cancer I have. If any of you are out there praying for me please pray that it is a germ cell strain and not sarcoma. Sarcoma is ugly and can kill. That is a fight I do not want to get into. So the cut I have just below the arm pitt busted wide open now and instead of going in and getting it stitched up today I am jamming it full of neosporin and gauze it up with hopes of the doctors fixing it during surgery. Why not? I am paying for it anyways. I feel pretty wierd right now. I am excited to get to this surgery so I can find out what I am fighting with. On the other hand I am scared shitless. My track record of surgeries and things getting messed up are not pretty. I would love for a smooth surgery where I don't get sick or my body gets messed up. I have to admit I worry about my folks a lot during all of this. They are open for helping out obviously but they haven't seemed to panic or flip out. I think it is because we have been through this all before, but then I would probably loose it myself if it were my own children. I guess it goes to show how strong my parents really are. I just hope that someday I can return the favor to them for all of their help and support that they have given me through this ordeal. I am hoping that for once in my life that something goes my way. Obviously, I would love to be healthy. Who wouldn't? The situation infront of me makes me hope that it is just a relapse of germ cell cancer. Germ cell cancer it treated by liquid chemo and eventual removal. Sarcoma is treated by liquid chemo, radiation chemo, and multiple surgeries hacking it out. That is pretty ugly. So please hope and pray with me tonite for the best.
The picture I have posted is from the Gophers at Badgers football game in 2006. Obviously the party was at my house and B-rad, myself, Tasha, and Andy were cheering on the big red machine! The game was a total slaughter and we send the mud ducks home disappointed.
4 comments:
John and I are praying for you. A lot. No sarcoma.
You're going to be okay. I can feel it. I'm proud of you for being so strong about this and for making really good things happen for other people through the work you do. You're a great person.
Hang in there, Justin. There are a lot of people praying for you out here!
I'll be thinking about you tomorrow bro. Good luck.
take care, i'm thinking about you today.
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