If you have been reading you know today was my chemo day and test results day. The test results were not bad but were not really good either. What it showed was that the tumors on my spleen and chest seemed to have stopped growing. Unfortunately they are still active though. The tumor on my chest actually shrunk a little bit. This is a big first step in having the tumor shrink more. The only thing is you really can't kill off this cancer. The only thing you can do is to shrink it and remove it. I also had a good chat with the oncologist (Dr.Skubitz) today and we are on the same wave length to a point. He still doesn't believe we can get all of it in surgery at the moment. I told him to let the chemo do the work then lets take the shit out. Today was the new chemo day too. Oh boy just what I wanted to deal with. This chemo is virtually the same thing with way less side effects. I am actually feeling pretty good considering. The only side effects that I am experiencing at the moment is my hands and feet drying out and cracking. It hurts pretty damn good but it is better than walking around nauseated and tired as all hell. They were actually suprised by how well my body handled the chemo, how fast I took the dosages, and how much I was able to take. This new chemo isn't really guaranteed to have any effect on the tumors at all. The one thing they did say is that I would have some pain at the tumor spot from the chemo and tumor duking it out and that I did feel pretty good. Out of this entire thing I am finally feeling comfortable with the progress albeit slow and minimal.I also want everyone out there to know that I am willing to go to any extent to take it out and get rid of it once and for all. If that mean risking my life or anything else on a surgical table you bet your ass I am up for the challenge. Dr.Skubitz did keep telling me (more so trying to convince me) that it is more likely to try and live with it than to go through and try to have it all removed. I insisted that surgery is the only option down the road. With that being said Skubitz had the schedulers make and appointment with Dr.Maddaus to see what his opinion would be. I was going to set up an appointment with him anyways. The procedure Maddaus would wind up doing is remove chest wall completely by stripping off the muscle and some cartilidge and then completely reconstructing everything. It would be a long process and that is fine with me. The only thing is we need to beat the pace of the cancer and chemo seems to be working a little bit. Cancer basically goes to a spot and invades the cells. It also grows twice as fast as normal body cells. With that being said it grows and forms a tumor and spreads into the other cells that it is smothering and kills the body. The fact that I am at the gym nearly every day and eating way healthier is showing some signs of helping out in the fight. That little area that shrunk and I mean little has my hopes up through the roof. Dr.Skubitz was also amazed by the little amount of pain I am in at the moment. He says that is really good considering I was in incredible pain for a while and hopefully shows that the chemo is doing its job. Funny enough, after chemo today I was feeling great besides the pain in my chest form the chemo and tumor fighting, so I went and played raquetball with Chris at the gym then biked for 30 minutes. hahaha. My confidence has been boosted and I at the moment am a rock.
My folks are coming up here tomorrow to check out the American Cancer Hope Lodge that I am currently staying at and spend some time in the big city. I know the people that work here want to meet my folks because I am here pretty much by myself 24/7 with the acception of a few friends that stop by. I think they want to see where my stubborness and arrogance come from. Other than that I don't know what I am going to do with them besides go to Pizza Luces for dinner! You don't come to Minneapolis without eating there it is an absolute must!!!!! I know a few bars to keep them occupied for a while. hahaha.
I also want to give a nice shout out to Joanne who has been all over my ass about staying positive. If you haven't figured out she post in the comments as Twitchy. Everyonce and a while I get an message from her and it is a great confidence booster. So I must say thanks. It isn't just her though she is just more consistent than anyone else. I do greatly appreciate the emails and comments posted. It just goes to show how many lives you cross paths with and if you are one of the good ones you are remembered. Just kick that around for a while and think of all of the places you worked, lived, learned, and partied at. Then think of the characters and good times. it is quite amazing.
I know todays blog is long as all hell and I really want to tell people about a chance encounter I had with an amazing musician I had the day after my 21st birthday. I went to the Machine Head show and met some guy who wound up getting in backstage to meet the band. I will never forget that night because it was something that has built my personality and confidence. I spent about 45 minutes talking to the vocalist/guitarist Robert Flynn. It was quite the conversation because you figure you would just talk about music and it was basically a conversation about life and ones self. I learned from that chance meeting that arrogance is confidence but it is not cockiness. He also told me that if you want something bad enough and work to get it anything can happen. The guy was also amazingly devoted to his wife and talked about her a bit. Just an amazing guy and that I will never forget it seriously instilled a new form of confidence in myself and a small sense of morals. Not many but a few hahaha. Machine Head video below.
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Hey Darlin'! I am so glad to hear that your tumor shrunk a bit. That's so awesome. It shows that you're totally on the right track taking care of yourself. It's a big deal to make such a big change, and I'm really proud of you for it.
I forgot to tell you before about a little thing I like to call the Pom Spritizer. As you know, Pomegranate Juice is full of antioxidants. I find that it is a bit thick for me to drink straight all the time, though. I, therefore, like to mix it with sparkling water (slightly more Pom than the sparkling water). It tastes a lot like soda that way, but it's actually good for you. I also drink a lot of Switch and Izze. They are both soda-like beverages but they actually have vitamins. When you're trying to switch over from soda, it goes a long way. You can get any of these things at Target.
As for your hands... try moisturizing gloves. You should be able to buy them at Target, too, in the beauty section. If you can't find them there, though, I know that they're at Kohls. You just wash your hands, put moisturizing lotion on, and then put the gloves on for 20-30 minutes at a time, or overnight. As for the lotion... you can go with all the girly stuff, but I actually recommend Udder Balm or just plain vaseline.
For your feet... a similar idea, just with slightly less hassle. All you need to do is wash your feet, put some lotion or vaseline on them, and then put clean socks over that. Just leave them on like that while you're roaming around your new digs, or keep them on while you sleep. (I, myself, usually can't stand it all night, but if I fall asleep with them on and then wake up and take them off because they're annoying me, that's still a good chunk of time.) This should help a bunch to moisturize and maintain moisture in your feet.
Let me know if I can help with anything else, and keep posting your symptoms so that I can try to help.
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