OK

One thing I want to comment on is the amazing amount of comments and support I receive from people. It is pretty awesome to see how many people you have crossed paths with or touched in ones life time. I get emails and comments from people I haven't heard from in years and I just can't believe it. It is some thing that for sure helps boost my spirits (and ego a bit).

My pain in my shoulder is back. It isn't as bad as it originally was but it is still pretty damn annoying. I take my oxycodone every day and deal with it. I honestly think it is from the tumor pressing down on the muscles. The tumor was pretty easy to feel and now I can tell that it is shrinking. I am thinking it is because of the Mangosteen juice and the change in my diet to pretty much purely veggies and cancer preventing foods. I also feel a hell of a lot better. When I was first diagnosed I weighed 225lbs. and now I am down to 209lbs. in 3 weeks. Obviously, some of it has to do with the chemo and rightfully so. I will also attribute some of it to my new healthier eating habits.

On a side note my room is almost completely torn down and packed up. It is looking kind of weird in here. I still haven't decided if I am putting it up for sublease. I guess that depends on whether or not I stay in Minnesota. Plenty of time to decide I guess. I am super pumped to head back to Minnesota and kill this damn thing off.

It is amazing how much of my time it take just dealing with the issue alone everyday. I am always on the phone with a doctors office, billing department, or case worker. Freaking time consuming. One thing I know already from experience is that the worst part of dealing with the issues is while you have cancer it is the aftermath. You're body is completely messed up from the drugs and the beating it takes. Then mentally and physically exhausting aspects in you're head start to come out. You just don't want to deal with shit and that is about the time the billing nazis come out of their holes and try to take every last penny you have. I hate dealing with those assholes. I understand your job is to collect money for services rendered, but get a friggin clue where do you think people have 5 grand laying around. My favorites are the ones that call and tell you that they are going to keep calling if you don't pay more. I not only tell them where and how to shove it I also tell them that harassment ends in lawsuits with them losing and them officially saved on my caller ID. Those are the ones that you can turn the tables on and royally piss them off. Luckily, this time I am not getting bent over like I did with old company Ferguson who claimed I never signed up for disability terms. Gustave Larson Company is helping me out a ton and it is appreciated in every way. It really is nice to have a company giving you a hand and letting you take care of business on your terms. Then again I am also really pushy when I want things done my way. My insurance limits are as follows after $2,000 paid out of pocket the bills are covered by the insurance at 90% and after $5,000 total paid out of pocket the insurance covers at 100%. I know some people are wondering what I am at. I had $1,400 paid in before all of this happened and I am currently at $2,400 Out of Pocket and that is up to the time I had the botched needle biopsy. I haven't been billed for the chemotherapy yet but either way $5,000 isn't too far away. The one thing I have learned is that hospitals have to make payment plans out to 10 months or they have to charge tax which then in turn means they have to pay taxes as well. Here is a hint for all of you out there. It is really really simple and completely easy. Tell the billing departments that you can only pay an amount well just under what the individual 10 month billing would be. They will send you a simple for to fill out with your income and billings that you already pay. Then they will evaluate the form and generally they will knock off a nice portion of the bill and write it off completely. In my case I also write a note and tell them that the bill will continue to grow and they will hold off on billing me until everything is in from the insurance and we all know that insurance companies are slow and picky. This pretty much gives me a few months of not paying any bill, getting it reduced, and a later billing date allowing me to pay off the bills I currently have. Pretty simple huh? Then in my situation I can also go look for grants and things to help pay for my medical bills. Cheating the hospitals....yes. Receiving grants......no. Not my thing I just can't explain it. I also have been asked if the Rock Cancer Out shows coming up are going to be donated to my bills and my response is no. My dedication to these shows are raising door $ to be donated to the American Cancer Society. I want to destroy cancer all around like everyone else I know. Whether I am the only person you have ever met that has had/have cancer it truly does effect everyones life in some small way. The things I hear out of a couple of people in Minneapolis is that a benefit for my medical bills is in the works. I just have to let them know which bands I really would love to have on the bill. I just told them that I am not helping them book anything at all. I am just giving them a list and they let me know the details. How odd would it be to work on my own benefit show......that just sounds cheap.


I have a few more pictures to post up as well.

Eau Claire homecoming 2006 I think you can tell that I am a fan of beer.

My house early on a the Iowa @ WI football game day last year.

Maker, myself, and Andy partying at the Brat Cabin in Eau Claire on a random weekend.

Downtown Nashville. I will say it is a great place to visit but not to live. That is my opinion atleast.

By the way

I scratched my head this afternoon and had a hand full of hair. In other words my hair is falling out already. I will be bald by the end of the week. I can't wait.

Packing

Well not much is happening around here. Last night I went to the Mallards game with some people from work. It was a pretty good time. The Mallards beat the Blue Thunder 2-1. If some of you out there are unaware of the Northwoods Baseball League you should check it out. My hometown Eau Claire has the Express and obviously Madison have the Mallards. The league is nothing but college ball players who have to have atleast their freshman season under their belt. They say the NWL ranks up there with the Cape Cod independent league which if you know anything about baseball is pretty darn good.

Other than that I am Spring cleaning in the Summer. I am going through stuff tossing things out packing up items if need be. I am leaving Madison for Minneapolis on July 9th. July 8th I am having a chemo treatment. If it is anything like the last time I will be pumped full of enough antibiotics and drugs that I won't have to worry much about being sick for a few days. I am ready to get up there and get the ball rolling I trust the U of M entirely and I know I am fighting with a little help things will be back to normal and I can get back to living a normal life.

I know I have been lacking in the pictures of good times department so I will post up a few now.

Poquette and I on New Years Eve at the GI in Eau Claire.

Julia and I on my porch during the Badgers Halloween game.

The last years Eau Claire homecoming keg race. My friends and I after the event finished.

Not much new today

Nothing is really going on today just went to work. I did tell everyone there that my last day is on July 3rd. I am going to the Brewers game with my mother and father on July 4th and sitting in a suite. That should be pretty suite (get it? yeah pretty lame). Then July 6th I am going to Summerfest to see 311 who is super freaking awesome live! I have chemo on the following Tuesday then Wednesday is moving day. I get paid that day so why the hell not? That means I got paid today and gee what a shocker I paid up my bills a bit more than usual since I will be on disability pay in the future. I did spend $8.99 on one thing I wanted which was the new 36 Crazyfists CD and I must say that it is worth it in every way. If you are a metal head I say go buy it or download it off of cdnow.com.

I did forget to let everyone know one thing yesterday. The U of M is considering my case a case study which is a good thing I get more attention. The cancer specialists across Minnesota have a meeting every Thursday and they are going to be discussing my situation on a regular basis now. I feel special. Happy special, not short bus special (Cooney, I know that is what you were thinking). The U of M staff did this for me the first time as well and obviously the outcome was good. Lets all hope it turns out the same!

That is all from the hive. Until we meet again my faithful readers.......

Toughest SOB you ever met

I had the MUGA scan on my heart today. That was pretty easy and relatively quick compared to some of the other scans I have had. I apparently have a heart. I know some ladies out there that would say differently, but screw them. hahaha. The MUGA scan scans the hearts injection rates. The range most people are in is 50-60. My rating was a 54 which is perfectly healthy. So the chemo hasn't affect my heart at all so far. That was pretty sweet.
Dr.Maddaus's assistant Terry called me today and is setting up which doctors Maddaus wants me to see. Keith Skubitz is going to be my primary sarcoma physician. He has a 20 year background in sarcoma cancer. I attached the guys person page on the U of M site at the bottom of this post. I also requested that U of M look over all of my biopsy notes and samples to see if they agree with the actual diagnosis. The more I read into angiosarcoma my case just doesn't seem to match it. Not that I am a medical professional at all but it doesn't hurt to have them look over it since they are a sarcoma care center. When I get up there it will basically be a fresh start on everything except I am going to have one more chemo treatment here then move up there until I beat this thing. I have pretty much decided that July 8th is my moving day. They are setting up an appointment and scans for the end of that week in Minneapolis. I know this is going to be hard on some of my family and they just need to realize a few things about me going up there: 1.) I am there for the best possible cancer care and to beat this damn thing one more time. No way around it that is the main reason for going up there. 2.) I don't truly trust the UWHealth after the amount of time and inability to diagnose me with anything for 3 weeks. Second opinions do not hurt anything anyways. 3.) I have a great group of friends up there that are willing to help me out if need be. 4.) I need to get out of Madison and free my mind of stupid things and stay busy. I find those to be pretty good reasons. I just don't know what I am going to do without having the Brewers on the radio or on TV. I guess I have to find my XM radio charger for my roady.

Keith Skubitz: http://www.umphysicians.umn.edu/physicians_detail_OBJECTNAME_Skubitz_Keith_3987.html

Three questions to answer today!

Q: Why did I go to work when I was sick with chemo?
A: Well it is going to sound really weird but to get my mind off of the situation that was the only thing I knew would work. The only problem was that work drained me way too much. That and I wasn't sure if I was on short term disability yet. I will not be going into work next time though.

Q: After I beat cancer again will I be staying in Minneapolis or coming back to Madison?
A: This question has been asked to me plenty of times. Let me just air it out right now. My full time job and housing is in Madison. I will be coming back down here after everything is done. UNLESS an opening happens on at one of the 3 stores in the cities. I would then apply for a transfer and bust my ass getting it. There is no secret that I love it up there. I came to Madison for two reasons. To be closer to my family for the first time since I was a child and to try living in a town that I absolutely loved visiting. Now that I am 27 I think I have traveled and moved around enough for me to try and pick a place and stick with it and build a life there. Don't get me wrong Madison is a great place with some really good people and things to do. The one thing is I always compare places to Minneapolis and the only things that piss me off about the cities are the sports teams, high price for drinks, and the extra month of winter. Pretty small reasons if you ask me. I answered this one the best I could. I will be back unless an opportunity and I kick cancers ass relatively quick.

Q: How can you stay grounded with everything going on to you?
A: Let me tell you that it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. This is way worse than the first time through. I think about everything related to cancer. It is a struggle everyday to keep my head in the mindset of kicking the frigging hell out of this thing. I must admit that I am terrified all in the same. I am so scared of possible outcomes of test results. It does and does not help that I have been through it all before. I really want to take a PET scan and get the results back that there is a small area that is active. Seeing as I can feel the tumor on my chest it freaks me out. I have always been a strong personality and a bit of an ego freak. Nothing new there. I just hope and pray everyday that I am strong enough to tackle what is in front of me. The other problem I have is that I am so aggressive and pushy when wanting to deal with this thing that I don't want to wait around every third week to treat the cancer. The other problem I know I have it that I have terrible luck. I always have and always will. I will win this battle keep it from coming back. I am also thinking of changing a few things in my life after I am done as well. I pretty much consider myself the toughest son of a bitch you have ever seen when it comes to life issues. Then again the ultimate tough guy list 1. Chuck Norris (duh!) 2. Justin Nuoffer 3. Jason Statham (the transporter hell yeah!) 4. Stallone (One word: RAMBO) I would say that is some pretty good company to be in...hahahaha.

Minnesota

I haven't written anything in a few days but not much has been going on. I don't remember if I wrote about being accepted into the American Cancer Society Hope Lodge. If not now everyone knows. The Hope Lodge is a place where cancer patients can stay for free for up to 6 months while they are being treated in the Twin Cities. I am going to give it a month and see what happens. Optimistic would be the word I would us to describe my feelings towards it. Everything is pretty cool sounding except for the 9pm curfew and locking of the building doors. I guess I am sleeping on some friends couch on the weekends. hahaha. Dr.Maddaus looked at my scans and gave me a call on Sunday afternoon and he has his assistants gathering up all of my info from the biopsy's, labs, and blood work this week. He is also going to get a specialist up there that he thinks would be the best suited to handle my case. He know the type of person I am so I can honestly say I trust him in doing that. He also said he wants to get another CT and PET scan done at their facility to update films. At the moment I am unsure when I am heading that way though. Tomorrow I am going in for a MUGA scan. A MUGA scan is basically a test to see how strong my heart is. The chemo I am taking does damage to the heart if it isn't strong enough. I have to pound water for quite a while before I go in just to make it easier to find my veins and to let the two dyes they inject flow easier. After I am injected with the dyes I basically wait for 30 minutes then lay on a table while a scanner rotates around me snapping pictures. I have to do what I have to do. My family doesn't exact have strong heart conditions as they get older so this should be interesting. Then the following Tuesday I have and appointment with the best Sarcoma specialist here in Wisconsin to gather his opinion and assess my situation. I am bound and determined to have both places working together. I can make that shit happen. I usually get my way when I am determined. I also received an email from Brian who is in a band called Seconds Before (myspace.com/secondsbefore). He is a super cool guy and in a sweet band. We have been working on getting a certain band for the July 12th Rock Cancer Out show (in Minneapolis at Club Underground) and they are close to joining on. I am not going to name any names at the moment but it is awesome if they do.

Q: What is a PET scan?
A: A PET scan is a scan that involves injecting a sugar based liquid into your body and scanning. Cancer actually eats sugars and it shows up in these scans. The scans are not a quick as the normal CT scan is in fact it is nearly 3 times longer and more intense in my book. They are taken the same exact way as a CT though. If you are familiar with that then you understand what I am talking about. When looking at the scan your body is outlined and basically should be black, purple, or dark blue. Areas where there could be possible cancer they will light up in yellow, red, and orange. Sometimes things show up in those brighter colors lightly but it doesn't mean it is cancer.

Rock Cancer Out 4 & 5

So far we have a full line up for the Eau Claire, Wi RCO and a flier for everyone to save and send out to their friends in the area. The Minneapolis show the following day has two bands on it Thomas Built the Wall and Seconds Before. If you can't go to the show, but want to donate please go to cancer.org and donate there. It is a really simple process. After every Rock Cancer Out show I donate everything that way. It even gives you an option to select the types of cancers you want to help fight against.

Today was pretty good!

So I haven't really been sick at all today just extremely tired. After work I just came home and went to bed. That was pretty refreshing. Other than that I got a phone call from Hope House in Minneapolis and I am cleared to stay there when I eventually make my way up there for treatments. I also made sure Dr.Maddaus received my medical notes and scans. Apparently, he got them yesterday but hasn't been able to look at them yet. I have no clue which specialist he is going to be talking to, but I made my appointment with Dr. Clohisy who is one of the better specialists there. My folks happened me out with a few dollars to get my first shipment on mangosteen juice. I hoping this stuff helps out. All of the research done by myself and my folks leads us to believe this should help out quite a bit. If any of you are curious about the after effects and things to help with chemo go to www.chemocare.com My father found the website and I have read over it a little and think that it is a good place to poke around in and read a little if you are interested.

Q: What are the effects of chemo on you?
A: The effects are different for everyone. There are so many different types of chemo for all of the types of cancer. The first time I had chemotherapy it was for a different type of cancer. I had 5 straight days of 3 different chemo treatments the first time and this time I only have 1 chemo treatment. The treatment schedule is 1 week on and 2 weeks off. The effects of chemo on my body are pretty schedule they haven't changed much at all. At first I am just tired. A couple of days later I start feeling a little sick, nauseated, and extremely tired. The 4th, 5th, 6th, and possibly the 7th day I get really sick, nauseated, tired, loss of hunger, extremely weak, short attention span, and dizziness. Those days are the days you really should try not to leave the bed. How I was even able to go to work for a while each day this week has been beyond me. I will also say that it was also stupid as hell too. That is how chemotherapy effects myself.

Not quite gone yet.

Well I don't have much to say today besides I am still sick. I am not sure if it is an infection where my open cut is or where the Hydranitis Suprativa spot that busted open. You wanna talk about how gross that is then you have issues. So I will give you a small insight though. That area is basically a pimple under the skin that causes pain and sometimes numbness. So that spot busted open Wednesday night and has been spewing puss and blood since then. Other than all of that I still haven't slept well at all. Last night I only had a few hours of sleep and I hurt pretty damn bad. I was able to get up and go into work for a bit but, I was in such bad shape it was a stupid idea. You know it was bad when people at work tell you to go home. So since 1pm I have been in bed trying to sleep and get over this thing.

sickness has almost passed

Hey everyone out there,
As some of you know I have been pretty sick from the nausea medicine finally wearing off. it hasn't been pretty I had lost my appetiete completely and when it did come back in spurts it was really bad in the sense I felt so hungry but I actually couldn't eat anything. I would go to work for 5 hours and come home feeling so terrible that I would just go to bed and try to sleep and not throw up at all. I just couldn't sleep either from the puking feeling and having to pee all the time. The doctors told me that this chemo won't be as bad but I am starting to think that it is just as bad. The nights since Sunday were so aweful I would lay in bed sick and try not to move because the pain in my chest wouldn't go away no matter how I tried to lay. For those of you that don't know I have to lay on my back as I attempt to sleep so everything can heal a little bit faster and the swelling can go down. All in all it has been difficult evenings, nights, and mornings. Otherwise I have started to change my diet slowly like I said in my last post. Fruits and veggies are the main meals and snacks now. Hopefully, I will have my order of mangosteen juice in a few days then I can give that a whirl in the fight against this crap. Can you imagine how a tropical juice like that could possibly give you're body the nutrients to fight cancers and other types of illnesses. I am going to be asking for a miracle in my fight or atleast some help.
Last night I talked to two friends of mine and I realized that I probably don't explain things overly well sometimes. I am going to try and and explain somethings more in depth. It was good to talk to those two again. It had been a while since that last happened. So when I was talking with Dan he asked me a few questions that I should probably post the answers up on here for people to understand. The other thing is I am completely open for questions of any sorts. No matter how personal or repetitive you thing it might be for me I would rather answer questions for people to grasp a larger understanding of my experience and others like myself.

Q: How do you take chemo?
A: There are basically two ways to take chemotherapy treatments liquid and radiation. I currently have liquid chemo. The first time I had chemo treatments it was metered through the IV machine. The IV and the chemo were entered through a port in my chest. Currently, I have liquid chemo. The nurses hook up my port to the IV machine and meter in the IV fluid the also hook up nausea medication and meter that in with the IV fluid. The actual chemo treatment I have this time is in two large suringes. Unlike last time the nurse has to enter it into the IV line manually. The time that it takes to run everything into my body is about 30 minutes as opposed to the Germ Cell treatments which took about 3 hours each time. This new treatment I have once every 3 weeks the first chemos were 5 days in a row every 3 weeks.

Well that is all from the Bat Cave at the moment. Please tune in tomorrow at the same bat time and the same bat channel. I will put more questions and answers up tomorrow.

Put the brooms away!

So I spent the weekend in Milwaukee with some friends and caught up with relatives. As some of you out there know I am very close to my grandma. We had a pretty serious talk and it was great boost. She is in all honesty the wisest person I have ever met.

Also every year for the Saturday game in the Brewers vs. Twins series in Milwaukee my friends and I get together and party in the parking lot and then in the seats. My friends come from Minneapolis and Eau Claire just for this game. It was something that had amazing timing for me because in all honesty I was starting to get a little down on myself. Mainly in the sense of why me and why do I have to go through this again type stuff. My friends really helped me get that shit out of my head and get back to the mindset I need to be in. Not only was it good for myself I felt it was good for my folks to get out there with us and have a good time and for them to see that I do have a strong support system in my friends. Not to mention that there isn't a lot that is much better than watching a good ol Brewers game at Miller Park.
I had my first chemo treatment on Friday afternoon. There haven't been many side effects until recently. Saturday morning I woke up with a pretty upset stomach that took a while to go away. Sunday morning was the same thing but I don't know if that was the booze talking back to me. As of right now I feel terrible. Upset stomach, fever, aches, that just names a few of the side effects I am trying to deal with. Which is leading me to a whole other subject I am working on. I am trying to clean up my eating habits and life style a lot. I pretty much told everyone that I know that this past weekend would be the last weekend for me drinking until I beat this thing. I am also changing my diet completely. I am going to be eating my greens, teas, V8 juice in large doses, and cutting out most meats except for chicken and fish. I have to get more oxygen in my blood to help fight. Also when/if I head back up to Minnesota my friends Chris, Brian, and I are going to be working out together trying to get in shape and healthier. I have to do what I have to do and I am glad my friends are there to help me out. Monday morning I am going to try to get up and go to work. It will be interesting since the nausea medication the ran into my system seems to be running out and the mornings have sucked since I had my treatment. Just another thing I have to deal with. I am hoping when I have time at work I can look for sarcoma specialists and hospitals that specialize in it. I have copies of all of my doctors notes, CT scans, and PET scans. When I find the doctors I want to work with it will be a quick transition to their locations. I am still trying to find one in Minnesota so I can also work with my previous surgeon and oncologist. I am still concerned that they might have misdiagnosed me the first time. Either way I beat it the first time and I will beat it this time. When I think back about moments and little things from my first battle everything seems the same. It is just weird. I don't think they did but it is in the back of my mind. There were a dozen or so oncologist and specialist including Lance Armstrong's oncologist who is one of the best in the germ cell field. Before I stop writing this I wanted people to know that I do read all messages sent to me via e-mail or posts. The encouragement and concerns are overly flattering and important and I must say to everyone out there....THANK YOU!

Angio Sarcoma

Angio Sarcoma is the name of the type of cancer I have been diagnosed with. This is a very aggressive and can be deadly if not caught early. The rarity of this type of cancer is also a problem. To put it in perspective I read and article that said 2 or 3 out of a million people that are diagnosed with cancer turn up with this time. The seriousness of the situation should be understandable after that little fact. At the moment we do not know how early it has been caught or how late that for that matter. I am having a chemotherapy treatment tomorrow morning around 11am. The actual treatment is about 20 minutes long and I only need it once every weeks. The after effects are not as bad as they were the first time. I will basically be very very tired and quite nauseated. I am very worried about this type of cancer. I guess I jumped the gun by reading about it online before talking with my doctor. Dr. Hegeman here in Madison has said he has a good feeling about my chances of beating it because I am young and pretty healthy. I am also a pretty aggressive person who is willing to do anything. He has already passed my case on to a sarcoma specialist here in Madison who is considered the best at treating it. He has developed some experimental treatments if the actual chemo isn't changing anything at all. As for heading to Minnesota I am going to say I am still heading back. I want to find a sarcoma specialist before I go anywhere. All I know is that this thing won't take me without one hell of a fight and I know I won't be the one losing. I am so sick of going through this shit with my health every year. Hopefully, WHEN I beat it this time. I can lead a healthy life.

Painful day

Today has been an interesting one. I woke up this morning and I was stiff as a board and hurt so freaking bad that I couldn't move. So when I was able I popped some pain meds as fast as I could. After getting up and moving I felt a bit better but I did notice one thing. The lump infront of my chest where they did the biopsy at was starting to swell up pretty damn good. Obviously I have been icing things down when I am able and that should do the trick. The doctor said I am not supposed to lift anything for a while which makes me doing my job impossible since I work in a warehouse. I went it this afternoon for about 4 hours and let me tell you that that was no a bright idea by any means. My chest and shoulders hurt so frigging bad. This time through with cancer the pain sure is worse or I am just a bigger wuss now than I was before. Either way it has sucked. I am going in to work tomorrow and trying to earn some hours since I am going to be out a days worth this week and whatever next week. The spot where I had my first biopsy is starting to heal up but I was starting to hurt in that area again and I found 4 more of those things. I am not happy about that but then again atleast we know that it is basically nothing can't be removed. Overall I am doing pretty good right now very little pain at the moment and just in a pretty good mood. I am currently listening to the new Jakob Dylan album and I highly suggest people take a listen to it. If you are a fan of The Wallflowers then you should like the disc. I am really looking forward to this weekend. It is the Brewers/Twins party weekend in Milwaukee. It will be good to see some of my friends from Minnesota and Eau Claire and cheer on their respective team while drinking fine Miller products. It will be really nice to get my head away from all of this mess. Especially since I am pretty damn sure that I am going to be starting my chemotherapy rounds on Monday. I am guessing they should have gotten the results back today. That assumption is based off of the first biopsy in which I got the results the next day. I am hoping that it is nothing at all. How awesome would that be? Yeah a small miracle but you never know. I just keep hoping that it is a germ cell tumor. I just want this all to be over with. To say that there isn't a nervousness or some type of strain on me would be pretty asinine for me to proclaim. I have freaked out pretty bad a few times but everything is better now. I think a diner and talk with my friend Michelle really helped me calm down and think about a ton of other things that are pretty hilarious and just happening in each others lives. It was really nice and she is a sweet heart! Well that is all I have to say at the moment. I guess I hope tomorrow gets quite a bit better and I get good news!

The picture I have posted below is of my friend Wendy and I during the Second Rock Cancer Out show in Minneapolis.

Surgery today

So today I had my surgical biopsy. They were not able to stitch up the first area where I had a biopsy because it did get a little infected. No biggie I just have to treat it myself. They also put a port in my upper chest area on my right side. A port is used to easily access blood for testing, administer some drugs, and whatever else they would need to do. The port is placed just under the skin in the upper chest area. I line is run from the port straight into a main vein in the neck. Having the port will drastically reduce the number of needles I will have to see in my arm. If any of you out there know me you know that nurses and doctors have a huge problem finding veins to use so this will help a ton. The next thing I had done was the important thing. The doctor removed part of tumor for testing. They hacked out a part of it and it was quite noticable. The lump that I had that was bulging out is not there anymore. I don't want people to jump for joy that they removed the tumor because they didn't they only removed part of it. I should have the results of the tests on it by Thursday. So good thoughts and hopes people. Next week is when I would probably be starting my chemo treatments. Tomorrow I am also buying my case of Mangosteen juice and giving my body what is hopefully the needed additional treatment that it needs. So right now I am still in a lot of pain from the surgery and it is to be expected. My neck is killing me so I just keep putting ice packs on it to numb it up. The cuts are gonna hurt for a while and I'll just continue to take my pain medication. At the moment I still have a killer head ache that has been messing with me all day long. No matter what I take it just won't go away. Other than that I feel bad that my dad spent all day in the waiting room today. I mean it was his freaking birthday. That would have sucked, but he is a trooper. Until tomorrow my faithful followers.


The picture below is of my buddy Nate and I at Rock fest when he was given VIP passes. Needless to say Styx, Reo Speedwagon, and John Fogerty were awesome.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Well work was busier than all hell today and that was a good thing. It helped me keep my mind off of the surgical biopsy I have tomorrow. I have to be in the office for the prep at 11:30am the actual surgery is at 12:30pm. It should take about an hour from what the nurses said and that isnt too bad. They are going to be putting in a port that runs into a main vain in my neck so that drawing blood and other things are easier to do. The other item planned to do is slice open my skin right about the actual tumor and take a part of it out to study and determine what type of cancer I have. If any of you are out there praying for me please pray that it is a germ cell strain and not sarcoma. Sarcoma is ugly and can kill. That is a fight I do not want to get into. So the cut I have just below the arm pitt busted wide open now and instead of going in and getting it stitched up today I am jamming it full of neosporin and gauze it up with hopes of the doctors fixing it during surgery. Why not? I am paying for it anyways. I feel pretty wierd right now. I am excited to get to this surgery so I can find out what I am fighting with. On the other hand I am scared shitless. My track record of surgeries and things getting messed up are not pretty. I would love for a smooth surgery where I don't get sick or my body gets messed up. I have to admit I worry about my folks a lot during all of this. They are open for helping out obviously but they haven't seemed to panic or flip out. I think it is because we have been through this all before, but then I would probably loose it myself if it were my own children. I guess it goes to show how strong my parents really are. I just hope that someday I can return the favor to them for all of their help and support that they have given me through this ordeal. I am hoping that for once in my life that something goes my way. Obviously, I would love to be healthy. Who wouldn't? The situation infront of me makes me hope that it is just a relapse of germ cell cancer. Germ cell cancer it treated by liquid chemo and eventual removal. Sarcoma is treated by liquid chemo, radiation chemo, and multiple surgeries hacking it out. That is pretty ugly. So please hope and pray with me tonite for the best.

The picture I have posted is from the Gophers at Badgers football game in 2006. Obviously the party was at my house and B-rad, myself, Tasha, and Andy were cheering on the big red machine! The game was a total slaughter and we send the mud ducks home disappointed.

A pretty slow little Sunday

Today has been a day of nothing but sitting on the couch and watching baseball with Cooney. There were some pretty good games on but I was pretty messed up on pain meds to have noticed a lot of the details. I have hurt so bad all day today even with my meds. Past that there hasn't been much to talk about today. I am looking forward to my surgical biopsy on Tuesday so I can finally get an answer to what I have going on. They are guessing that I will have some small treatments by the end of the week. This weekend is the big Brewers vs. Twins party at Miller Park that my friends and I get together for every summer. So this week is going to be very interesting and obviously I will keep you all posted on what happens.

The picture I have posted was from New Years Eve weekend in 2006. My friends and I all celebrated together in Eau Claire and obviously good times were had.

Another day of not knowing

As another day goes by of not knowing what the hell is happening I am at home enjoying a hot and steamy summer afternoon. A perfect afternoon to enjoy a few brews and send out e-mails to bands for Rock Cancer Out Minneapolis. The stage is set and ready to roll for the RCO Eau Claire edition. The line up is mixed across the board and is pretty sweet.
The Jaggenauts http://www.myspace.com/jaggernautswillcrushyou
Flags Will Cover the Coffins http://www.myspace.com/flagwillcoverthecoffins
Love In October http://www.loveinoctober.com
Charles Morgan http://www.myspace.com/charlesmorgan1
Trust me you will enjoy it if you come on.

With the way that things are going I guess being frustrated is actually quite alright. It has been harder this time around since I am well more aware of everything. There pretty much isn't a moment that goes by what I worry just a bit that we are taking too long. The other worry I have is that they are not going to be able to do to much. My lucky has shown that everything that goes on sucks. Everyone says that my luck isn't that bad because if it is terrible I would be dead. All I have to say to that is no shit dumb asses. I still have not had the best of luck. I mean admit it! I conclusive tests twice! How the hell does that happen? I hate having surgeries and guess what they think this is a hack it out type of thing oh yay I cant wait! I don't come out of anesthesia well at all, my lung collapsed during one surgery, and I have had too many already! Don't get me wrong I am going to fight this thing by any means necessary. I just hate everything that goes along with it. Over the last two weeks that is some of the things that have been floating through my head.

I am also going to post up a picture of myself and some of the places I have gone and things I have done.

This is when I was in Cleveland this past spring. The picture was taken outside of Cleveland Browns Stadium and it is overlooking Lake Erie.

Wishy/Washy

Today I had an appointment with my oncologist to get the results of my biopsy. Ah I really don't know what else to say other than just my friggin luck. The tests came back inconclusive. Meaning they found abnormal cells which hints at cancer, but not enough to say it is an absolute thing. So it sucks ass. I am getting pretty pissed off. Even more so than I already am. I guess my sense of urgency to figure out what the hell this thing in my chest is has been too aggressive for UWH. My parents went with me this time and they had their answers ready and hopefully answered. They also took a look at how disappointed and pissy I am with them. Indecisive answers and reactions to everything it irritating plus my doctor seems to be quite non-comittal to anything. The fact that 2 biopsies haven't turned up a damn thing and that is so terrible and completely unsatisfactory. What do I have to do to have anything ever go right when it comes to medical stuff. I guess I can say that my doctor atleast gave me some ideas of what he thought it could be and what we might have to do. The cancer that they are starting to believe it could be is Sarcoma (http://www.sarcoma.net). Sarcoma is a soft tissue and muscle cancer which is very serious. At the moment all I know is that chemotherapy and drastic surgeries are the options to getting rid of it if that is the type that I am diagnosed with. If the tumor turns out to be of the germ cell variety Chemotherapy, surgery, and more than likely a bone marrow transplant. Sarcoma is a major cancer and anything related to germ cell tumors are classified as minor in most cases. This truly terrifies me to no end. I am up for the fight but damn something completely different than we originally thought. Sitting in the office showing my folks the CT scans I kept grilling him about the sense of urgency issue. After I thought about it more I really should have gone to the hospitals cancer center instead of the clinic. I am so confident that we would have already known what I am dealing with that I am tempted just to take my notes and scans and go over there this weekend. The best they could give me (because general surgery was closed at 5) was a "probably" Tuesday morning I actually told him I would do it in the parking lot tonite if we could.

I spent most of my morning receiving phone calls from various places concerning me transferring my treatments to Minneapolis, possible support, and my job. The company I work for is overly helpful with me and my situation. From the sound of things they might be granting me temporary work status at the Plymouth branch when I am not dealing with chemo and doctors. That is completely awesome. When things are done there I would return to Madison to work at my current location unless an opening happens in Minneapolis and I would apply for it. That last option would be the one I am gunning for. Currently, I am getting things done with my current rental situation and a few other billing items. Just trying to be prepared for the battle. I don't really know if I am just a complete asshole but I am so confident in my previous doctors in Minnesota that I only want their opinions and skills when it comes to major decisions in my treatments. Dr. Maddaus is one of the best surgeons in the country and he is a straight shooter. My finally surgery he entered the room and gave me his opinion like this, "So are we going to take that fucker out?". Talk about no bullshit and that is why he is the only man after my biopsy on Tuesday that will touch my skin with a knife. The oncologist I had was Dr. Leach. Not only is he awesome because he is a Packers fan he is straight forward and you can get a hold of him for anything at anytime needed. A dedicated oncologist who is one of the best out there. Dr.Leach actually is now one of the head doctors at St.Francis Hospital in Shakopee. Those two right there are some pretty great company to have on my side during this. Check out Dr. Maddaus's profile here: http://www.umphysicians.umn.edu/physicians_detail_OBJECTNAME_Maddaus_Michael_4163.html
and Dr. Leach here: http://sfrmc.netreturns.biz/Providers/Detail.aspx?ProviderId=a01a2e9e-94a1-4986-b933-17bde2ea0730


I am also planning to go heavy on a juice called Mangosteen. There are plenty of testimonials and studies done on it with mixed results. I spoke with a doctor who Sully's mother recommended and he went on and on about it. Then I had to give him the questions that most people would have probably hung up on me and he answered them all. Anything is worth a shot. Why the hell not?
I must say that I am quite worried about the current happenings. I mean it has been two weeks, two biopsies, and three doctors visits and there are no results. I mean what the hell!?! This time the amount of things running through my mind are incredible. I don't get much sleep sometimes at night and in a lot of pain. Not only that I busted open my stitch in my arm pit and it is a huge hole that leads me to putting a ton of antibacterial cream, gauze, and tape on my wound. Pretty freaking sweet. The other thing that is bothering me is that after this chemotherapy treatment I would pretty much loose any ability to have my own children. The chances are slim right now but completely dead after the next one. Then again I am single and not fore seeing it in the near future anyways, but still. Sorry Kristi, but I am going to officially naming Aubrey the child I can spoil like my own. She is also the cutest kid I have ever seen.

Crazy day!

Where do I start? The conversation I had last night with my Oncologist here really pissed me off. The sense of urgency just isn't there. This morning was spent between phone calls to Methodist Hospital and University of Minnesota-Fairview seeing if I am still considered a new patient or current. I am considered a current patient so that is good considering they are not accepting new patients. My old Oncologist Dr. Joseph Leech is the head Oncologist at St. Francis in Shakopee now which is where I would go if/when I go back to Minnesota. I asked my company if they are able to transfer my position to the Bloomington store and they are checking into the possibility of moving me there and being able to work when I am not doing chemotherapy or having surgeries. Everything is up in the air though. Gustave Larson is being pretty damn good about everything so far. I already have the forms for my short term disability and the extended leave paperwork. I guess getting these things done before hand are really important. Trust me I know from experience. The later those things get taken care of the worse it is going to get and the more fighting with the insurance companies that will for sure happen. So I am trying to avoid it at all cost. I also e-mailed my contact at the American Cancer Society and he read about my situation the told me about a possible way for me to apply for a hotel style living while getting treatments in Minnesota. I am getting more info on that just to make sure it is something I can qualify for or would even be interested in. As far as I can tell everything is good to go back up there but I still need to get my copies of my medical records up to those locations before anything happens.
The conversation last night also revealed that I had to do another biopsy and this time it was for the tumor on my chest. They scheduled the my appointment to have it removed at noon today and I obviously made it is on time and I was told that I should be in and out in about an hour. Great right!?! Not really, I wasn't informed the details about the procedure. The procedure was actually a something called a CT biopsy. Relatively simple sounding huh? I was placed on the CT board and scanned a few times. After looking at the scans they determined where the best spot to stick a needle is then they scan me again to check the mark. Once the mark is good enough to go they still had me laying down flat in the board and ran a needle down under the skin and tried to get closer and closer to the tumor. Then once it is right next to the tumor they take another needle and jam it right through the existing one next to the tumor. Then the doctor slammed down on it and it made a clicking sound meaning the needle got a part of it from the tumor. The doctor actually did that twice. Apparently they haven't had anyone in pain at all besides the original novocane shots. When the doctor slammed on the needle the two times I jumped up and screamed. It hurt so bad and it actually still stings a bit. The results will be back tomorrow afternoon sometime and lucky me I have an appointment to set up the plan of attack with my Oncologist here. There are two types of germ cell tumors that is can be. I forgot the names of them both but the type I had the first time is what we need it to be. It will be easier to deal with and I would have to have a bone marrow transplant on top of a small hacking away of my chest. If it is not what we are hoping it is then we are going to be fighting something pretty damn ugly. I will go through chemotherapy obviously but there will be so many more surgeries and I pretty much wont have a chest wall at all. So lets hope it is the junk I had before. All in all I was in the office for about 4 hours then I went back to work to get my hours back on my check. What a day. When I go to the oncologists office tomorrow. I am going to have my folks with me. I really don't understand why they want to go but I'm not going to stop them. They have actually been pretty cool about everything so far and are taking my decision to try and go to Minnesota quite well. then again I am also 27 years old and it is my live. Well I am off to be now and lets hope I finally can get more than an hours worth of continuous sleep for the first time in three nights.

Strange strange day

So today has been a mixed bag of things. Last night I couldn't sleep at all. It was terrible. I kept waking up randomly and sometimes it was from pain. I think the medicines just aren't working anymore. So I had the thing in my arm pit removed and the results came back today that it was not a tumor nor a cist. It is some kind of disease that is pretty rare but not anything major. The name of it is Hidradenitis Suppurativa. Basically it is a big pimple that is deep under the skin and causes a lot of pain and possibly disabilities if not treated. Otherwise I am glad that was taken care of. The tingling running down my arm is gone and so in the pain. I found all of this out through my doctor today and I had to ask him some questions. Obviously the first one I had to ask him was how bad the tumor on my chest is. He said that if not treated it obviously it can be fatal. On a scale of 1 to 10 and 10 being the worst he is think a 6 or a 7 so that is how serious it is. I think I have been taking this a bit too lightly. The option of going to the University of Minnesota seems to be the only option that I am willing to be comfortable about now. My doctor has been telling me that they are moving as fast as they can. That is unacceptable to me since the last time I was on chemo 4 days after my biopsy. Granted they have to do another biopsy since the mass they removed was nothing related to the issues at hand. So I have to have a needle biopsy in my chest once again. The possibility of guiding a needle to my spleen is also an option. I guess I am so much more comfortable with my doctors in the twin cities who work so much faster. If the situation is so serious why are they waiting so long. Other than that I have not been feeling very good at all and I feel terrible still. I am wondering if I have an infection in my arm pit. I am sure the extreme lack of sleep also has something to do with it.
This morning I also spoke with Sully Anderson's mother about a juice that she has been reading and going to seminars about. Mangosteen juice has supposidly helped destroy tumors in non-medicinal experiments. The way I see it I am willing to try anything and why shouldn't I?

I received an e-mail from my friend Johnny and it struck a nerve with me. I still don't know why. I get a lot of messages and e-mails from people but this one has stuck with me. He doesn't know I am posting this and I don't think he will get upset by me doing it but I feel it is rather important for me to share with everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Juan Cantu
Sent: Wed 6/4/2008 8:58 AM
To: Justin Nuoffer
Subject: RE:


Hey man that sucks.  I will keep you in my prayers and in my thoughts.  My family is
going to go to the shrine in South Texas (Virden de San Juan Shrine in San Juan,
Texas) and light a candle and say a prayer for you as well.  Stay positive and
strong.  You are the type of person that can make it through something like this.  I
don't know that I have ever met someone in my life that is as down to earth and
willing to accept the cards that life deals and be able to overcome all obstacles.
Keep me informed.  Talk to you later bro.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The church has a web site and it is here.
http://www.sanjuanshrine.org/

As a lot of you know I am not an over religious person at all. I believe in strength and one self.
I want to clarify a few things as well. I am actually rather terrified of fighting this thing again but I am not scared to go to battle with it. Since I am a survivor already I believe I am able to hold it together and deal with things a lot better.
As for coming back to Minnesota for treatments and surgery. That is something I have to work on pretty quick here and figure out if I can get that transfer to Bloomington and get all of the info to U of MN. So I guess if anyone has an extra room in their house that they get let me rent out for dirt cheap until things change and I can pretty much hide in while I have chemo treatments.

From beginning to end

So as some of you that are reading this already know that I am a former cancer patient already. Back in August of 2002 I was 21 years old and freshly relocated to the city of Minneapolis. I graduated from Chippewa Valley Technical College with a degree in Heating, Air Conditioning, and Ventilation and got a job right away. I went into work one day and my chest was hurting me quite a bit so I decided to go into the hospital. While on the way to the hospital I had a heart attack. After taking a bunch of tests a tumor the size of a baseball was found on top of my lung and next to my heart. I went though 3 months worth of chemotherapy . On December 31st 2002 I was officially cleared of cancer in my body. The problem left was the tumor barely shrunk. I had multiple problems with bleeding out, infections, and a collapsed lung. April 14th 2003 I had a 50/50 surgery which was open heart style to remove the tumor which was connected to the lung and they though connected to the heart. Turns out they removed a layer of my lung and didn't have to touch my heart. Since then I have had minor issues with my health. Mainly just typical colds and flus last longer than normal.
Flash forward to May 2008. There has been a lot of pain through out my entire left shoulder and chest area. The also has been tingling pushing up and down my left arm through my fingers. So I made an appointment with my oncologist here in Madison. So after being checked out and having a physical done I was placed on vicodine for the pain. This past Friday I went in to the clinic to get a CT scan done. My last CT was done on Oct.31st 2007. So I was due for another one anyways. The CT showed a spot on my spleen that was previously there that hadn't grow any over the last few years to have doubled in size. The spot that I could feel under my arm pit didn't show to clearly but did show up. As some of you out there know that during my first surgery they took out a huge chunk of my chest so they could go right through to the tumor for my biopsy's in the future. The hole is still there and will never fill up. When I noticed the hole starting to get smaller and filling up it started to hurt and I got nervous. The CT scan showed that there is a tumor in that spot where the hole is. The tumor is also growing on top of my chest just under the skin. All in all there are three tumors. When doctor Hegeman told me the news I lost it for about 10 minutes then wanted to get to business. We have to hope that the tumors are of the germ cell variety. Germ Cell tumors are the easiest to treat and kill. Because they are spread across my innards I will be on heavy doses of chemotherapy in hopes of killing and shrinking the tumors. The heavy doses are the full body kind which will make me very sick once I start them. Depending upon how bad things are I could be having a bone marrow transplant once chemotherapy is done. From what my doctor said bone marrow transplants are very common in people who have a recurrance of cancer in their bodies. I am pretty much telling myself that I will be having that done at the end of my journey. Yesterday (June 2nd) I went into the General Surgery ward of the clinic to have what I thought was a needle biopsy on my chest. I was quite wrong they actually wanted to remove the tumor below my arm pit completely. It took an hour to have the procedure done and the tumor removed. They are having tests done to determine if it was a tumor or a cist and if it was cancerous at all. One down and two to go is all I can say about that yay! This Friday I go in to Dr. Hegeman's office and make up our plan of attack. My folks have been really cool about everything which is great. They are letting me handle everything my way and not being overbearing which I think a lot of parents get in situations like this despite their child's age. Things have been pretty good otherwise and I am ready to fight this son of a bitch. After my first surgery I was thinking of writing down my experiences during my battle with cancer. Now I have the opportunity to do so thanks to technology. I will post up hopefully everyday with whats happening and in the end hopefully writing a book that can be used to help out others in my situation.