Well today was an interesting one. I had my chemo appointment at the Masonic Cancer Center and I had a lot of weird things go down. I am now officially done with chemotherapy treatments. They actually doubled up my doses so I don't have to go back in in two weeks and it gives my body 4 full weeks to cycle the treatments through and out. This gives me a better chance of a quicker recovery after the surgery and less chances for things to happen during it. I wasn't expecting them to do that at all, but it makes complete and total sense to do that after they explained everything to me. The pain in my left shoulder blade was something of concern obviously and they didn't think the cancer spread since the reactions we were getting were overwhelmingly positive. To the them the pain is most likely the nerves in my chest forcing reactions across my shoulder. Either way it is still something they will be monitoring. So they refilled my Oxycontin 20mg pills and that pretty much takes care of everything. For those of you out there that don't really know much about medications. Oxycontin is a very strong and addictive pain med. 20mg is also a pretty large dosage. Most people receive 10mg, but because I becoming resistant to a lot of pain meds. I have to get the larger doses. Lets put it this way if someone who doesn't take a lot of pans pills at all takes one of the 20mg they would more than likely be flying high for a long time or sleep for ours on end. I also was running a 99.3 degree fever while I was there and I didn't feel any different than normal so it was really odd to hear that one. It made sense though when they said I probably have an infection where one of the Hydranitis Suprativa was and is still healing so they gave me a penicillin type drug to take to curb it. Other than that I also told them that I am starting to get winded really easily and it is not normal at all. It happens a lot when I lay down on my back. It is pretty bad and painful. Since they heard that from me they made me go have a CT scan right after the chemo doses to see if a blood clot showed up at all. I am assuming that nothing has showed up since I never heard anything back from them at all. Since I had twice my normal dosage of my chemo treatments today it also means that if I have any side effects they will be twice as bad and probably have me down and out for a week or so. They said that I almost cetrainly will have the redness and pain in my hands and feet, back pain, mouth sores for a couple of weeks, and some nausea. I feel the nausea a bit and I am on my anti-nausea pills for the time being. I really want to be off of any side medicine I can in the net couple of weeks so my body can regenerate itself and be cleansed of it. I need my immune system to be in the best shape possible for this surgery. I am terrified of something going wrong and needing my body to recover itself better. Hopefully that makes sens to people out there.
I am back in Madison this weekend rooting on the Badgers. The party is back at 136 Breese so stop on by and tell me hi if you want or just drink a few beers. I am super pumped to see the W house crew again. It will be nice to get out of the cities again and get a good ol gameday extravaganza under my belt before the surgery.
On a side note for all of you out there. My hair is finally coming in pretty thick now and it is official.....it is black. So it is a little darker than before. I am also growing a pretty sweet mustache and flavor saver. I always wanted to grow a mustache, but could never get rid of the chin hair in fear of the Nuoffer double chin appearing. The reason I am doing the mustache is because I told George whom I used to work with that I would do it when my hair was growing back.
I am also on day 4 living in Burnsville at Traci's and I am really liking it here. Traci is cool as hell and I appreciate her letting me stay here for a little while. I also think I have her addicted to Big Brother....thats right Traci you know you are!!!!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Dynamite stuff
So I saw a new article on jsonline.com that says that a new way to work with stem cells has been discovered. This is huge news for those who have an illness or disease that cannot be cured or lingers. I truly believe that cancer can be an item that can be cured through these steps.
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=788210
Other than that not much is new here. I am still in a lot of pain in my shoulder area and am really uncomfortable all the way around. Tomorrow morning I go in for chemo and I am gonna talk to them about it and get my pain pills refilled. Friday night I am going to be in Madison for a little partying and catching up with people. Then Saturday I will be back at the W house cheering on the Badgers and getting a little rowdy if my body will let me. That is pretty much all I have planned for the weekend.
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=788210
Other than that not much is new here. I am still in a lot of pain in my shoulder area and am really uncomfortable all the way around. Tomorrow morning I go in for chemo and I am gonna talk to them about it and get my pain pills refilled. Friday night I am going to be in Madison for a little partying and catching up with people. Then Saturday I will be back at the W house cheering on the Badgers and getting a little rowdy if my body will let me. That is pretty much all I have planned for the weekend.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Where Do I Begin?
Let me say first off Thank You to everyone who was involved, showed up, sang, donated or just drank at The Looking Glass on Saturday night. There are a few people I want to especially point out and say "Thank You" from the bottom to the top of my heart. Jay and E-rock made the event happen and made it outstanding from what I heard. I really wish I could have been there. I heard Jay wore a pair of Dazzy Dukes for $200 and E-rock was one hell of an MC. I also want to thank Cindy and Diane for driving to Janesville and forcing people to buy raffle tickets. It really didn't surprise me to hear that those two were selling them at all. I also want to thank The Looking Glass who let this show happen and donated bottles of booze and bar $ to my funds. That is huge to find an awesome place that does things like that out of no where so to everyone out there who ever goes to Janesville please go in there and have a few sometime. It is still hard to phathom that there are so many people out there that you can know or not even know that come out to events like these and donate hard earned cash and items to raffles. Honestly, I can't believe that there are that many people out there pulling for me to get better and beat this thing. When I talked to my folks about the show I teared up pretty quick from thinking of all of the support that my family is getting from friends and complete strangers. It may sound a little wierd but I feel obligated to try and pay these people back some how or some way. The reason I feel that way is because they raised nearly $2,500 in raffle, songs, drinks, and donations. The thing that upsets me the most is the fact that I couldn't be there for it. All in all it sounds like everyone had a great time and I am really really appreciative of everyone generousity.
I know this is my first post in a while and that is from the internet being down at the Hope Lodge. Today I moved my stuff down to Traci's condo in Burnsville. I really liked staying at the Hope Lodge, but I needed to be out and about at night sometimes during the week. I have a lot of friends in bands and I would really like to go to shows and not worry about finding someones place to crash at because I can't get in after 9:30pm. It also helps me get a sense of normalcy back in my head. What I mean by that is out living on my own and taking care of things like nothing is going on. I seriously think this is going to be good for me. I am glad Traci opened the door for me to stay in her extra bedroom as well it is quite the generous offer. For those of you that don't know this, but I lived in a house with Traci and 3 other people when I was 18. So we at least know how each other lives and that is pretty good when you start out with roommates. As for the Hope Lodge I officially check out of there Friday morning giving me time to tidy up and go through their check list of move out procedures. I will be checking back in there on Friday Sept. 26th until I am back and good enough to be on my own from surgery. I still can't believe I am a month out from this thing I really am in the mood to just do it now and get it over with. I will take my chances. I just want to be back to normal and continue to fight and get rid of this nasty and destructive demon of mine. the funny thing about all of this is that I have learned so much about myself out of all of this. It is hard to explain since those of you out there are not me. Two things that are easy to point out is my sense of compassion and my determination have grown so much and I think have changed me quite a bit since this has all started over.
Thursday is when the internet went down at the Hope Lodge and I will give everyone a little update about what I have been up to since then. Thursday I was feeling absolutely terrible I mean down right sick and weak. Thats about the time that my blood counts are supposed to get low. 10-14 day after the initial chemo dosage is the low blood count time frame. I never got sick from it before but when the dosages build up over time the reactions get worse and worse as it goes. Friday, I was pretty sick still and didnt really get out of bed at all except for an hour at the gym. I slept pretty good Friday night which was an awesome change. The whole sleep issue is still a major problem of mine. I made plans earlier in the week to go grab a bite to eat with Jennifer, Wendy, and Jake. Then we went to The Uptown Bar and watch a sweet local show that had Gluv, Kingfield, Casanatra, and The Rockford Mules on the bill. We stayed and watched all of them but The Rockford Mules and went back to Jake and Wendy's house for the evening. All of the bands were awesome and I was super pumped to finally see Kingfield play. Kingfield's vocalist/guitarist Brett is a cancer survivor himself so I felt obligated to check them out besides tha fact that they are awesome anyways. Gluv was cool. They are basically a better version of their former band Vulvox as my buddy Chris pegged them as. Casanatra is always awesome and that needs no explaination. Sunday, I slept in really late and went to the cook out at Chris's house and played kickball at the monthly get together. It was a good time even though I was feeling too hot at all.
I don't know if I posted this before, but the pain is virtually gone in my chest and the lump and shrunk down to pretty much nothing. The only problem is that I am having the same terrible pains I had before in my chest in my left shoulder blade. I don't know maybe I pulled a muscle or strained it but all I know is that I hurts pretty bad. So bad that I can't sleep laying down on it. Not much I can do besides deal with it and tell the doctor when I go in for chemo on Thursday.
So for everyone out I must once again say "Thank You" for going to the benefit show in Janesville and I will post more up soon, but I am pretty tired at the moment and hopefully can fall asleep.
I know this is my first post in a while and that is from the internet being down at the Hope Lodge. Today I moved my stuff down to Traci's condo in Burnsville. I really liked staying at the Hope Lodge, but I needed to be out and about at night sometimes during the week. I have a lot of friends in bands and I would really like to go to shows and not worry about finding someones place to crash at because I can't get in after 9:30pm. It also helps me get a sense of normalcy back in my head. What I mean by that is out living on my own and taking care of things like nothing is going on. I seriously think this is going to be good for me. I am glad Traci opened the door for me to stay in her extra bedroom as well it is quite the generous offer. For those of you that don't know this, but I lived in a house with Traci and 3 other people when I was 18. So we at least know how each other lives and that is pretty good when you start out with roommates. As for the Hope Lodge I officially check out of there Friday morning giving me time to tidy up and go through their check list of move out procedures. I will be checking back in there on Friday Sept. 26th until I am back and good enough to be on my own from surgery. I still can't believe I am a month out from this thing I really am in the mood to just do it now and get it over with. I will take my chances. I just want to be back to normal and continue to fight and get rid of this nasty and destructive demon of mine. the funny thing about all of this is that I have learned so much about myself out of all of this. It is hard to explain since those of you out there are not me. Two things that are easy to point out is my sense of compassion and my determination have grown so much and I think have changed me quite a bit since this has all started over.
Thursday is when the internet went down at the Hope Lodge and I will give everyone a little update about what I have been up to since then. Thursday I was feeling absolutely terrible I mean down right sick and weak. Thats about the time that my blood counts are supposed to get low. 10-14 day after the initial chemo dosage is the low blood count time frame. I never got sick from it before but when the dosages build up over time the reactions get worse and worse as it goes. Friday, I was pretty sick still and didnt really get out of bed at all except for an hour at the gym. I slept pretty good Friday night which was an awesome change. The whole sleep issue is still a major problem of mine. I made plans earlier in the week to go grab a bite to eat with Jennifer, Wendy, and Jake. Then we went to The Uptown Bar and watch a sweet local show that had Gluv, Kingfield, Casanatra, and The Rockford Mules on the bill. We stayed and watched all of them but The Rockford Mules and went back to Jake and Wendy's house for the evening. All of the bands were awesome and I was super pumped to finally see Kingfield play. Kingfield's vocalist/guitarist Brett is a cancer survivor himself so I felt obligated to check them out besides tha fact that they are awesome anyways. Gluv was cool. They are basically a better version of their former band Vulvox as my buddy Chris pegged them as. Casanatra is always awesome and that needs no explaination. Sunday, I slept in really late and went to the cook out at Chris's house and played kickball at the monthly get together. It was a good time even though I was feeling too hot at all.
I don't know if I posted this before, but the pain is virtually gone in my chest and the lump and shrunk down to pretty much nothing. The only problem is that I am having the same terrible pains I had before in my chest in my left shoulder blade. I don't know maybe I pulled a muscle or strained it but all I know is that I hurts pretty bad. So bad that I can't sleep laying down on it. Not much I can do besides deal with it and tell the doctor when I go in for chemo on Thursday.
So for everyone out I must once again say "Thank You" for going to the benefit show in Janesville and I will post more up soon, but I am pretty tired at the moment and hopefully can fall asleep.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Date is set
Well I got a call today from the hospital and the date is set. Monday September 29th is the day that determines my future with this thing. I know it isn't the beginning of the month like I wanted but who cares it is booked and gives me time to get my stuff together. I am getting two more chemo treatments as well. I also am going to see a friend of Kristi's who does accupuncture for a living. It is supposed to help out with some of the chemo after effects. I am really looking forward to having it done and see if there are any changes. Currently I am a little bit under the weather. Not too bad though just a few sniffles. I am starting to notice that I am loosing weight from working out and watching what I eat. Good to know that all of the changes that I have been making have been starting to make me feel a hell of a lot better and making my body fight harder.
Dr.Hegeman in Madison returned my phone call this afternoon and I asked him a few questions. I told him that the tumor shrinked and that the growths have stopped growing and that Dr.Maddaus is all systems go about removing the tumor, spleen, and lung parts. Hegeman said that the fact that the tumor has been reacting and shrinking is a very good thing even though they changed the type of chemo I am on. As long as progress is shown and things keep changing for the better I have a serious shot of betting this thing completely. Problem is even with the surgery I am facing a 25% chance of it being "cured". The one thing he did tell me is that my youth and personal health is a huge factor in beating this thing and I need to keep on the things I have been doing. I really wanted his opinion of what he thought for a few reasons; 1.) Skubitz is a just not the doctor I want and I only stay with him as motivation and his experience in the field. 2.) He did let me know what he thinks I need to do to increase my odds of survival. 3.) Hegeman is a pretty smart fella. This whole surgery to me seems like the only chance I ever am going to have of freeing myself of this thing. I have to do this no matter what the chances are. I just don't know how I am going to keep my head straight for 5 weeks leading up to it. I have appointments to see the doctor doing the splenectomy and the plastic surgery reconstruction of my chest in the second week of Sept. The plastic surgeon is George Landis. He is considered one of the best reconstruction surgeons in Minnesota. He is also an in network doctor for Humana aw yeah! Funny thing is that he didn't think that he needed to see me at all before the surgery. Obviously I put my foot down on that one. I actually have a ton of questions for him. Especially since we are talking about nearly my entire upper body being replaced. I just want to know the procedure, risks, benefits, and how it is going to affect my life afterwards. I think that is a legit reason to see the guy. The doctor doing the splenectomy wanted to see me right away so he can inform me of the risks and everything involved. I think I like that guy. I am bummed that it isn't in the beginning of Sept. but atleast it is booked right away.
Today I talked with a couple of older ladies in the lunch room here at the Hope Lodge and we talked quite a bit about all of our situations. It turned into them asking me questions about what they think is good for them to do. It was amazing to hear some of the questions they asked me. It was mainly about foods, doctors, and my experiences. I basically told them that there is always a doctor out there willing to help you and do what you want to do, ask as many questions as you can and get educated about your situation and not an generalization of many situations, go to a nutritionist or learn from the internet or books about cancer preventing foods, and never give up on yourself. These two ladies were pretty amazed because I have been through it once already and how I am handling everything. It was a nice boost to my own moral. It made me realize that when I am done here with this thing that I need to help others in my style of situation out by speaking to people or having one on ones. I didn't realize how much knowledge I retained from my experiences. Think about it I was a zombie for 8 months the first time. I hear things from people that I didn't even know where there or I just didn't know I was there. I know that is also part of the purpose of this blog as well. I guess others that aren't sick don't really understand the mental toll it puts on ones self and people need to talk with others one on one not in a group session. That is why I do not go to the group sessions here at the lodge. They are generalized and seem to be big rah rah speeches. They don't help anything. I honestly think i might have found my calling.
Dr.Hegeman in Madison returned my phone call this afternoon and I asked him a few questions. I told him that the tumor shrinked and that the growths have stopped growing and that Dr.Maddaus is all systems go about removing the tumor, spleen, and lung parts. Hegeman said that the fact that the tumor has been reacting and shrinking is a very good thing even though they changed the type of chemo I am on. As long as progress is shown and things keep changing for the better I have a serious shot of betting this thing completely. Problem is even with the surgery I am facing a 25% chance of it being "cured". The one thing he did tell me is that my youth and personal health is a huge factor in beating this thing and I need to keep on the things I have been doing. I really wanted his opinion of what he thought for a few reasons; 1.) Skubitz is a just not the doctor I want and I only stay with him as motivation and his experience in the field. 2.) He did let me know what he thinks I need to do to increase my odds of survival. 3.) Hegeman is a pretty smart fella. This whole surgery to me seems like the only chance I ever am going to have of freeing myself of this thing. I have to do this no matter what the chances are. I just don't know how I am going to keep my head straight for 5 weeks leading up to it. I have appointments to see the doctor doing the splenectomy and the plastic surgery reconstruction of my chest in the second week of Sept. The plastic surgeon is George Landis. He is considered one of the best reconstruction surgeons in Minnesota. He is also an in network doctor for Humana aw yeah! Funny thing is that he didn't think that he needed to see me at all before the surgery. Obviously I put my foot down on that one. I actually have a ton of questions for him. Especially since we are talking about nearly my entire upper body being replaced. I just want to know the procedure, risks, benefits, and how it is going to affect my life afterwards. I think that is a legit reason to see the guy. The doctor doing the splenectomy wanted to see me right away so he can inform me of the risks and everything involved. I think I like that guy. I am bummed that it isn't in the beginning of Sept. but atleast it is booked right away.
Today I talked with a couple of older ladies in the lunch room here at the Hope Lodge and we talked quite a bit about all of our situations. It turned into them asking me questions about what they think is good for them to do. It was amazing to hear some of the questions they asked me. It was mainly about foods, doctors, and my experiences. I basically told them that there is always a doctor out there willing to help you and do what you want to do, ask as many questions as you can and get educated about your situation and not an generalization of many situations, go to a nutritionist or learn from the internet or books about cancer preventing foods, and never give up on yourself. These two ladies were pretty amazed because I have been through it once already and how I am handling everything. It was a nice boost to my own moral. It made me realize that when I am done here with this thing that I need to help others in my style of situation out by speaking to people or having one on ones. I didn't realize how much knowledge I retained from my experiences. Think about it I was a zombie for 8 months the first time. I hear things from people that I didn't even know where there or I just didn't know I was there. I know that is also part of the purpose of this blog as well. I guess others that aren't sick don't really understand the mental toll it puts on ones self and people need to talk with others one on one not in a group session. That is why I do not go to the group sessions here at the lodge. They are generalized and seem to be big rah rah speeches. They don't help anything. I honestly think i might have found my calling.
Odd tidbits
This is my second post of the evening so don't forget to read the one below as well.
I thought it would be nice to post this and see peoples reactions. As most of you know I am not really afraid from saying or doing most things. I wanted to show you all a bit of my medical billing information. It builds up fast and can be quite a stressful thing to deal with luckily I am smarter than the average bear and can guide my way around a system and find the grants to apply for. Don't forget to apply every time to a billing adjustment based upon your income from the hospital if you get billed from there. Legally they have to make you do it if you don't want to pay their suggested amount of billing.
Medical plan charges:
My out of pocket $5,731.00
Humana discounts $6,704.24
Humana plan payments $19,377.51
------------------------------------
Total charges $31,812.75
On a side note if you think that a universal health care system is a bad thing go talk to people without insurance because my bills are nothing compared to those in the same situation. The hospitals and doctors can also charge what ever they want to those people since they are not covered and in a plan and under that health care contract. Just ponder it a bit and put yourself in those shoes.
I thought it would be nice to post this and see peoples reactions. As most of you know I am not really afraid from saying or doing most things. I wanted to show you all a bit of my medical billing information. It builds up fast and can be quite a stressful thing to deal with luckily I am smarter than the average bear and can guide my way around a system and find the grants to apply for. Don't forget to apply every time to a billing adjustment based upon your income from the hospital if you get billed from there. Legally they have to make you do it if you don't want to pay their suggested amount of billing.
Medical plan charges:
My out of pocket $5,731.00
Humana discounts $6,704.24
Humana plan payments $19,377.51
------------------------------------
Total charges $31,812.75
On a side note if you think that a universal health care system is a bad thing go talk to people without insurance because my bills are nothing compared to those in the same situation. The hospitals and doctors can also charge what ever they want to those people since they are not covered and in a plan and under that health care contract. Just ponder it a bit and put yourself in those shoes.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Monday fun day!
Today was a good day.....(cue the Ice Cube tune).....I went to work and busted my ass. I had quite a bit of pain just a bit higher than where I normally have it. That worries me especially going into this surgery in the near future. The pain is also starting to be more centrally located in my chest. Terry from Dr.Maddaus's office and I spoke today about Dr.Skubitz recommendation of time I need to recover from the chemo in order to have a good recovery and less complications during the procedure. The chemo recovery time is two to three weeks. This means I have probably had my last chemo dosage. YAY!!! I honestly don't think this new stuff is working anyways. I really don't have any side effects and feel fine for the most part. My blood counts haven't really changed at all and that is a bit wierd but it does happen to some people. I just worry that they can't get everything. That just sits in the back of my mind. To continue on here, Terry is helping me get into to see 3 different doctors next week and getting them all scheduled for the surgeries. Maddaus will be removing the complete chest wall and the stuff off of my lung. Then the one doctor would perform the splenectomy and the last one would be the plastic surgeon who would recreate my chest wall and lining. I have a lot of questions for that guy. I mean that is the big procedure and it has the most after effects for my life than any of the others. That is pretty damn obvious. I wonder if the reconstruction is going to limit my abilities to do anything. I am a pretty active person so if it does it will suck a lot but like I keep saying how much does one value their own life? I mean I truly do not know much about anything past the idea and basics that they are going to be doing. I did find out that the whole thing should be about 3-4 hours in surgery. I was assuming it would be longer but hey what do I care as long as it gets done right.
My insurance has been one hell of a roller coaster ride so far. As I have mentioned before my doctors are covered under my in network plan and the University of Minnesota is not covered at all so anything that is done is going against my $10,000 out of pocket deductible. Not too fast here I was pissed and called Humana and my companies insurance person and threw a fit. They are trying to change me over to the Minnesota coverage plan of Preffered One which would date back to 7-09-08 and cover everything I have ever had done at the U of M. Pretty nice huh? Which means it would fall under my $5,000 out of pocket in network and be fully covered by the insurance. Then looking at the first chemo dosage I got here as it was billed to Humana they actually paid for most of it even though they usually out right denied it. Naturally I said nothing about it to the Humana rep. The only thing I can think is that the pharmicutical company is paying Humana for covering it. Who cares!?! All in all my agressivness is finally paying off in small doses. I just want to get to this surgery and hopefully be done with this thing. I know the risks of it still being there is pretty good but with all of the hopes and prayers from others and my complete and stubborn nature it should just go away.
If you live in the Janesville area please go to Kareoke for the cure at The Looking Glass downtown on Saturday and help out the cause. My old manager Jay put this together and don't disappoint him! I wrote down the wrong time it starts at 6 to 10 or 11 so go out and make fun of my folks singing some terrible 80's tunes. I will not be there though. I do want to go but I need a weekend to get things organized and collected.
My insurance has been one hell of a roller coaster ride so far. As I have mentioned before my doctors are covered under my in network plan and the University of Minnesota is not covered at all so anything that is done is going against my $10,000 out of pocket deductible. Not too fast here I was pissed and called Humana and my companies insurance person and threw a fit. They are trying to change me over to the Minnesota coverage plan of Preffered One which would date back to 7-09-08 and cover everything I have ever had done at the U of M. Pretty nice huh? Which means it would fall under my $5,000 out of pocket in network and be fully covered by the insurance. Then looking at the first chemo dosage I got here as it was billed to Humana they actually paid for most of it even though they usually out right denied it. Naturally I said nothing about it to the Humana rep. The only thing I can think is that the pharmicutical company is paying Humana for covering it. Who cares!?! All in all my agressivness is finally paying off in small doses. I just want to get to this surgery and hopefully be done with this thing. I know the risks of it still being there is pretty good but with all of the hopes and prayers from others and my complete and stubborn nature it should just go away.
If you live in the Janesville area please go to Kareoke for the cure at The Looking Glass downtown on Saturday and help out the cause. My old manager Jay put this together and don't disappoint him! I wrote down the wrong time it starts at 6 to 10 or 11 so go out and make fun of my folks singing some terrible 80's tunes. I will not be there though. I do want to go but I need a weekend to get things organized and collected.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Weekend
I had a very nice weekend. Very little going on. Friday night I went to the gym and came back to the Hope Lodge and slept. It was good to get some sleep in since I do not get much of it. Saturday, I just decided to pack a bag and go to Eau Claire for the evening. I hung out with my friends for the evening. Kara's coworker was in a drag show(for Madonnas bday) at Scooters downtown and I went with her and her friend Carrie for an hour. Then it was to the GI. I also saw a few people out on Water St. that I haven't seen in years. It was good times. Today was our fantasy football leagues draft and there was 5 of us drafting at Bauers house. It was fun, but I had the last pick and had to wait 26 picks each time so boring. Otherwise it was good to just get out and do something even if it wasn't much. Being here is really nice and I notice myself twittling thumbs on weekends for the most part. Especially knowing that I want to have surgery at the beginning of Sept. and the recovery time of 3-4 weeks. I should get my fun time in right now before the real business comes into play. The thought of surgery is still scaring the living hell out of me. Knowing that my history of surgeries is pretty crappy I get a little worried. The last one I had in Madison went well with no worries. It is still scary since the day my lung collapsed and I wound up in ICU. That was the most nerve wracking and scariest moment of my entire life without a doubt. Most of my other surgeries were not that bad but uncontrollable bleeding, chest tubes, and infections were my other problems. It was super fun(not the sarcasm). I think I am due for a smooth procedure. That is pretty much what I got for everyone at the moment but there is a website I found that talks about the type of cancer I have and it is posted below.
http://www.sarctrials.org/public/pag1.aspx
Don't forget next weekend 7-10pm is Kareoke for the cure at The Looking Glass in downtown Janesville. Rumor has it there is a raffle with our Brewers vs. Padres tickets in them. So go have fun and sing your hearts out.
http://www.sarctrials.org/public/pag1.aspx
Don't forget next weekend 7-10pm is Kareoke for the cure at The Looking Glass in downtown Janesville. Rumor has it there is a raffle with our Brewers vs. Padres tickets in them. So go have fun and sing your hearts out.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Decision made
I am voting for the non old white republican fool. I mean I am going to plan my surgery for the first week of September. I want to have atleast two more chemo treatments to see if there is anymore effect on it and to possibly attack anything else that could be sitting in my body. The only problem is that I would get a treatment the week before the surgery and they want to make sure that my blood counts and immune system will be alright for the surgery and recovery more importantly. This really wasn't as easy of a choice to make as I thought it would be because I never put much thought to the effect of the chemo on my body into the equation. Besides that I never really thought that I would be able to make this choice this soon. I was honestly shocked when he said that he could do it right now. My dad can attest for that because I was pretty pumped up. When I got back I sat down and had a long thought about what I should do. Knowing my history of not having really good times with surgeries it has me worried, but on the other hand knowing that this is the only road to escape my demon what choice do I really have. I guess it is pretty obvious that my excitement has turned in a strong form of worry. That has been helped out by quite a few people asking me if I am sure that I want to do it right away. Yes, I just want to get my life back and hopefully be done with this entire thing once and for all. There is still a lot for me to process still but it is time to attack this thing.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Making a Choice
Well I had an appointment with my surgeon today and I must say that I am flying high right now. There was some pretty good news thrown at me from him. Dr.Maddaus walked into the room and sat down then started to shoot the breeze with me a bit then we got down to business. He looked at me, leaned over towards me, and then said,"I can get all of it right now. Not everyone can do this type of surgery but I can and lets do it." I can't wait to throw it in my oncologists face and tell him that I can beat it. I told you people that this guy is a serious go getter and the best of the best in the surgeon department. Maybe I under estimated my oncologist in Madison a bit. Dr. Hegeman did say that this is beatable and it would be a hard road. The one thing that realy bothered me a lot was that it took 3 weeks to figure it out. That to me is unaccpetable in any circumstance. I also found out that my surgeon and doctors are covered through Humana(my health insurance). The University of Minnesota is not covered at all through my in network but in my out of network so I am looking at atleast $10,000 when this thing is over and done with. I don't really care as long as this thing is over and done with for good! What is ones life worth? I don't care the amount of dollars it takes and I hope everyone else would be in the same boat.
Here is how the surgery would take place. I would go in in the morning and the entire thing would be done in one swoop. They would start with my spleen and remove that to try and control the bleeding. Then the major part of the surgery would take place. They will split the skin right down the middle of my chest and peel it off to the side. After they have done that they will start to remove the actual tumor before removing the muscles. Once they have stripped the entire muscle and cartilidge there down to the bone Dr. Maddaus would go to my lung and remove the pieces there from the last surgery I had. After that was done he would take a chunk of goretex plastic and fit it for the entire left chest area and strap/staple it to the bone and make it as secure as possible. Once it is placed correctly the plastic surgeon would come in and help build/create a new muscle structure over the top of the goretex piece. That is the entire procedure from what I was told. At the moment it is up to me to decide when to go in for surgery. I am more so leaning towards soon. Earlier today I wanted to shrink it and try to kill it off more but what are the odds of it continuing to grow? They are just the same. It will be weighing on my mind this week a bit.
My friend Chris who is putting together a benefit up here in the cities to help me pay off my medical bills told me that the date for it is Saturday Sept.27th. He also told me that one of the largest and most popular bands in Minneapolis has joined on to help me out. They are called The Stnnng. He asked me for a list of bands who I would love to see on the bill to help out and I emailed them to him yesterday so I am looking forward to seeing what he comes up with. Well that is all I have for everyone at the moment and I am off to ponder my choices.
If you do not know what goretex is read about it here
Here is how the surgery would take place. I would go in in the morning and the entire thing would be done in one swoop. They would start with my spleen and remove that to try and control the bleeding. Then the major part of the surgery would take place. They will split the skin right down the middle of my chest and peel it off to the side. After they have done that they will start to remove the actual tumor before removing the muscles. Once they have stripped the entire muscle and cartilidge there down to the bone Dr. Maddaus would go to my lung and remove the pieces there from the last surgery I had. After that was done he would take a chunk of goretex plastic and fit it for the entire left chest area and strap/staple it to the bone and make it as secure as possible. Once it is placed correctly the plastic surgeon would come in and help build/create a new muscle structure over the top of the goretex piece. That is the entire procedure from what I was told. At the moment it is up to me to decide when to go in for surgery. I am more so leaning towards soon. Earlier today I wanted to shrink it and try to kill it off more but what are the odds of it continuing to grow? They are just the same. It will be weighing on my mind this week a bit.
My friend Chris who is putting together a benefit up here in the cities to help me pay off my medical bills told me that the date for it is Saturday Sept.27th. He also told me that one of the largest and most popular bands in Minneapolis has joined on to help me out. They are called The Stnnng. He asked me for a list of bands who I would love to see on the bill to help out and I emailed them to him yesterday so I am looking forward to seeing what he comes up with. Well that is all I have for everyone at the moment and I am off to ponder my choices.
If you do not know what goretex is read about it here
Sunday, August 10, 2008
A whole weeks worth of stuff
I hope those of you reading this at work have nothing else going on because this could be a pretty long read. I have been without the internet for a while but not to worry at all I am back and ready to blab on some more. I have had an awesome week last week. It started off Monday when I was done with work I went and visited my old roomie Traci Voth at her condo. I think we had a pretty good time we reminisced about the good old days of being 18 a pretty much out of control in the whole of a wall town called Eau Claire. She showed me around her place and I must say it is really nice and it is super easy to get to and a hop skip and a jump to where I am working up here. For those of you that already know or have been reading along for a while I might possibly move in with her somewhere in the near future. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy living in Dinkytown and in the Hope Lodge which is wonderful, but I need to get a sense of normalcy soon. My other friend Noah is going to be looking for a job up here next month and wants to be roommates and I am not opposed to that at all either. It is just that I really have no clue when I am going to be and what I am doing over the next 6 months. I really need to get a calendar book because dates and times of junk is starting to run together a bit. I must dig out my trusty note book and start writng shit down. That evening I was supposed to hang out with Heather and watch a movie. I had to cancel because of all the other misc. stuff I had going on. The rest of the week for the most part I worked and then went to the gym. Thursday night though I headed back to Eau Claire to visit some of my friends and pick up Andy to go to Milwaukee. Naturally there is nothing to do in EC besides get boozed up and play darts/pool. A few dance moves were busted out but it was limited and very few people were witness. 50 cent taps will do that to a person. I seriously do not like going back to EC. The only reason I do go back is because of my friends that are either too lazy to grow up and get a real job outside of that dump or have a shitload of family there. Either way my group of friends are awesome and like to party so they are worthy of my company at times. hahaha! On Friday Andy and I headed down early and stopped off at the W house and had a beer and chilled then went into Milwaukee and watched the Brewers dominate. They also dominated the Nationals on Saturday too. Sabathia and Sheets threw complete game shut outs first time in 13 years. Who were the others you ask. Cal Eldred and Chris Bosio. Look it up if you have to.....I know I did. Since I am on a roll about sports at the moment. We all know Brett was traded to the Jets this past week and all I have to say is,"Good". The guy became a whiny, indecisive, hijacking bitch. He held the progress of the team hostage for four years. Yeah they went to the NFC Championship game last year and they also lost it of the arm of Brett Favre. Nice interception buddy! As soon as Shermans jack ass draft picks were benched and Thompsons players stepped in Brett became good again. Funny since everyone said he was washed up for 3 years. Once he started playing in McCarthy's offensive system they fourished. Aaron Rodgers is in a bad place right now. He will never be able to be in a good situation here unless he gets them to atleat the NFC Championship game. So me being the instigator that I am I wore my Rodgers jersey to the Brewers game on Saturday and amazingly enough there were more people giving me high fives and shit for wearing it than the dumb asses pissing and whinning about Brett being gone. Then again there was a guy that wanted to fight me over it and I told him to go do a few things then told him I'm not afraid of him at all and he walked away like a little bitch.....I have witnesses it was sweet. What have we learned after this experiment on Saturday? 1.) There are retarded people that think they are tougher than they really are until they are confronted about it. 2.) People pretty much agree with my opinion of franchise first and legends second. 3.) There is an idiot in every crowd. To continue along with my amazingly long winded story. Saturday was just flat out busy besides the game. We had a small pregame at my Grandpa Nuoffers house. I haven't been over there in a while and it really hasn't changed since I was about 3 months old. It was such a nice day out we sat outside grilled up some beer brats and yapped away. It was fun for the most part until bad news hit. I don't know if I really should say anything about it but I am going to anyways. My dads Uncle Tom(on my grandmas side) passed on from basically cancer of the entire body. They gave him 6 months and he went almost 2 years. So he held out for a while and it is still quite sad. I hadn't seen him in a long time and the few things I do remember about him was that he was always really nice to my brother and I. I think the last time I saw him was at my Grandma Nuoffers funeral. Either way it has been a while. I felt really bad for my dad because obviously my situation is a really fucked up one to watch your own kid go through but tack on the timing of his Uncle and that is just messed up. I am pretty sure going to the game and watching me be a smart ass to people probably gave him some sign of relief for the day. My Grandpa also told us the story of a Luger pistol he lost for 25 years and how he found it in my Grandmas purse after she passed on. Apparently, my Grandma kept it hidden for 25 years and never cracked a smile when my Grandpa would be looking for it or talking about it. To prove the story he went and took it out of a drawer and showed us. There was no clip in it, saftey was on, and the barrel was empty and my brother Joel and my friend Andy were ducking out of the way every time he would swing it around......what wimps it was empty! Otherwise after the game Andy and I headed to Madison and met up at the W house with the crew. From there it was straight to State Street for a few beverages. One of my old stomping grounds (Lava Lounge) is where we spent the nice shooting the shit and trying to stay out of trouble. After bar close we wound up sitting on the porch till about 5am. The house is pretty jacked up for the first game day and I must say I am expecting a pretty rowdy crowd there for it. It was good to see some familiar faces though. Hell, that is always a good thing. Tomorrow, I work till 5pm then I am heading straight to the gym and then cleaning up and heading to Chris's house to watch the Packers Monday night game. Ah I miss those good old days where Chris and I would scream at the TV about Brett or Bert as we called him when he screwed up and Mike Sherman for obvious reasons. Today, I wanted to see Kristi and Aubrey and yet again. No return dialoge from Kristi until I am already in the Cities. I am such a dumb as for even holding out a little hope for her to actually get over shit and use a phone for conversation. I am pretty content with everything in our past. I say shit happened lets move on from it and wipe the slate clean. I have an ounce of hope left.
After I made everyone read through that entire thing let me tell you about my current health happenings. I am feeling pretty good. I was feeling fabulous and it was like nothing was wrong then then pain started to work its way back to aching again. I haven't had a pain pill since last Saturday and I am glad but there are moments when I thought I probably should then it would go away. The aching is in my chest still but now it is starting to ache a little in my shoulder/neck area and I am terrified about that. I don't know if that is muscle or the chemo fighting with it. Either way I am still in a little bit of pain. I also think the lump shrunk a little bit over the last week as well. I am hoping so. I haven't had any Mangosteen juice in a week because I have been out and broke. The pain in my knees is back in a major way and so I get a shipment tomorrow and hopefully it will kick in right away. I swear that stuff is fabulous for getting rid of arthritic pain. When I was on it my back and knee pain was nonexistant. If any of you know me well enough know that those have been two problems I have had for probably 10 years and it went away after drinking that juice. Since my tumor shrunk a very tiny bit in the scan I am holding out on that case yet but I am willing to keep trying it. The side effects I have had from the new stuff was virtually nothing. My hands still get dry but not enough that they crack I just need to put moisturizer on them and it is like new. I have gotten a mouth sore though and those things are annoying. If that is the worse I am going to have then I am in a good spot in that department. Tuesday I have to go in early and get my port tested because there is a hole in it and that is boring. They inject a dye and I get a scan of some sort to show if and where it is leaking from. Then I go from there to the other part of the hospital to see my surgeon. That is probably the one appointment I am actually looking forward to. Dr.Maddaus is a major go getter and is not a NO person at all. I need his opinion of what has to happen in order for me to possibly have some sort of surgery to attempt to cure myself of this personal demon of mine. I don't care how long and what has to happen I want it to be dealt with no matter what the costs which is life or death reguardless. I am in great spirits and hope at the moment almost a hint of over confidence in myself. I just feel great and positive at the moment. What can I say the only thing that can make things worse is my death so it is all up hill from here and I know things will turn out for the better. I am going to make it happen with a little help others of course.
On a side note my old manager Jay at CB&K set up a pretty sweet benefit in downtown Janesville. It is called Kareoke for the cure. I forgot the name of the bar where it is being held so if you are reading this Jay let me know the details. Otherwise I do know it is in two Saturdays from now and all of the $ is to be donated to cancer research. The DJ is hosting it for free so buy the guy a shot or something atleast. If you are in the Madison or Janesville area go have a few drinks and sing you asses off. It should be a good time.
After I made everyone read through that entire thing let me tell you about my current health happenings. I am feeling pretty good. I was feeling fabulous and it was like nothing was wrong then then pain started to work its way back to aching again. I haven't had a pain pill since last Saturday and I am glad but there are moments when I thought I probably should then it would go away. The aching is in my chest still but now it is starting to ache a little in my shoulder/neck area and I am terrified about that. I don't know if that is muscle or the chemo fighting with it. Either way I am still in a little bit of pain. I also think the lump shrunk a little bit over the last week as well. I am hoping so. I haven't had any Mangosteen juice in a week because I have been out and broke. The pain in my knees is back in a major way and so I get a shipment tomorrow and hopefully it will kick in right away. I swear that stuff is fabulous for getting rid of arthritic pain. When I was on it my back and knee pain was nonexistant. If any of you know me well enough know that those have been two problems I have had for probably 10 years and it went away after drinking that juice. Since my tumor shrunk a very tiny bit in the scan I am holding out on that case yet but I am willing to keep trying it. The side effects I have had from the new stuff was virtually nothing. My hands still get dry but not enough that they crack I just need to put moisturizer on them and it is like new. I have gotten a mouth sore though and those things are annoying. If that is the worse I am going to have then I am in a good spot in that department. Tuesday I have to go in early and get my port tested because there is a hole in it and that is boring. They inject a dye and I get a scan of some sort to show if and where it is leaking from. Then I go from there to the other part of the hospital to see my surgeon. That is probably the one appointment I am actually looking forward to. Dr.Maddaus is a major go getter and is not a NO person at all. I need his opinion of what has to happen in order for me to possibly have some sort of surgery to attempt to cure myself of this personal demon of mine. I don't care how long and what has to happen I want it to be dealt with no matter what the costs which is life or death reguardless. I am in great spirits and hope at the moment almost a hint of over confidence in myself. I just feel great and positive at the moment. What can I say the only thing that can make things worse is my death so it is all up hill from here and I know things will turn out for the better. I am going to make it happen with a little help others of course.
On a side note my old manager Jay at CB&K set up a pretty sweet benefit in downtown Janesville. It is called Kareoke for the cure. I forgot the name of the bar where it is being held so if you are reading this Jay let me know the details. Otherwise I do know it is in two Saturdays from now and all of the $ is to be donated to cancer research. The DJ is hosting it for free so buy the guy a shot or something atleast. If you are in the Madison or Janesville area go have a few drinks and sing you asses off. It should be a good time.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
It has been a while
Well for those out there wondering where the hell I have been lately....I will tell you. I have been without internet for about 4 days and it is driving me nuts. How else am I going to keep up to date on my episodes of Big Brother? By the way if you guys watch that show you must know I am pulling for Keesha and Dan at the moment but they are looking more and more screwed every episode. Currently I am in Milwaukee for the Nationals @ Brewers games. CC Sabathia pitch a gem (Mr.Olander that was for you). Another complete game shut out. They are seriously going to burn this guy out by the time the end of September rolls around I mean the perfect example of that is Ben Sheets he hasn't won since we saw him on the Fourth of July. Past the Brewers I am pretty damn glad the Packers finally dealt the pain in the ass called Brett "douchbag" Favre. What a pile of crap that whole thing turned out to be. I will go more indepth on that when I have a moment to type more. As for myself and the cancer. I haven't had a pain pill since last Saturday, but I still have a very small aching pain in the one specific spot. The chemo seems to be fighting it still and I am glad. I want to attack this shit like the Canadians did to the Germans at Passchendaele. Drive that shit right out and blow it up into oblivion. Well kids I am going to write more tomorrow I just wanted to throw something up tonite incase anyone actual checks this stuff on the weekend.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Quiet weekend
My folks are up here visiting and checking things out. They seem to be pretty impressed with the Hope Lodge and I think they are starting to understand how I can go a little crazy at times here. I as some people know don't like people nosing around in my business and that is why I kinda stay quiet around these parts. Why the hell do they need to know my business? I told them that I only talk to a few people and they have talked with a few people staying here so they know what I am talking about now. My folks also wanted to plan a family trip somewhere and they thought of New York City to which I would love but I also mentioned Washington DC and Boston. Two places I was going to go to on a previously planned denfunkt roadtrip. Then looking into it some more online we could go to Germany for a week for a few hundred dollars more. I know some of you out there know I went to Germany in 1998 for 3 weeks with an exchange program and had an unbelievable time. My folks were pretty receptive to that idea. I started looking around and gathered up some websites to places I have been and would like to see. I know Berlin is one place I personally would love to spend a couple of days in but Southern Germany is a place my parently would fall in love with. I would make it a point to go to Salzburg Austria though and see as much there as I can. When I was there last I felt that that was the most fun place I went to on the entire trip. Other than that my folks and I went to Pizza Luces yesterday and they were impressed by the food like I said everyone would. We went grocery shopping and to the movies and saw The Dark Knight. I highly suggest you go see that movie. Heath Ledger was incredible as The Joker. That was the excitement for the day. I have been feeling more symptoms of the chemo today. The back pain is starting to kick in and my hands are no where near as bad as they were the two previous day. The spot on my chest has been causing me to be in a lot of pain but when they introduced the chemo back into my body that is what is supposed to happen. I guess it means that they are duking it out.......good! Reguardless I haven't been my normal self as of late because of it. I have been really tired, in slight pain, and winded. Today was also the first time in a whole week that I popped an Oxycodone pill for the aching and throbbing pain coming from my chest.
Noah and I won't be going to The Ting Tings show on Monday night because it is sold out as of today and I was never able to get over there and buy tickets. I am pissed cause I wanted to see them. The live videos they have on Youtube seems to show them having an interesting live set. Their album is also really catchy. I also saw the new Slipknot video today and I can't wait to get ahold of their new disc as well. From the reviews they are all saying that this is the most powerful album they have every written and the most politically charged.
The one thing about being back in Minneapolis that bugs the hell out of me is that the Twins are always on. I can't even get the Brewers games out of Hudson. I have to resort to my stat tracker in my fantasy league. Today I guess Sabathia pitched another gem and Fielder finally coming around. I don't care what anyone says Fielder is not a clutch hitter and I find it amazing how well he plays in Atlanta. I hear they are looking for a First baseman now that they traded Mark Texeira. Fielder or Texeira? Sorry Prince......Texeira is a stud! Don't get me wrong though I am glad the Brewers have Fielder but he will command a shitload of cash this offseason which is amazing for a shitty defender ala Manny Ramierez style. Out of that entire trade between the Pirates, Red Sox, and Pirates. I can't really say that any team got screwed. I am glad Jason Bay has a chance to finally play for a contender in Boston. He is the ultimate team guy and never complains. That would be pretty tough considering he played in Pittsburgh for years. Which reminds me that I have a lot of pictures to upload still.
Here is the new Slipknot video
Noah and I won't be going to The Ting Tings show on Monday night because it is sold out as of today and I was never able to get over there and buy tickets. I am pissed cause I wanted to see them. The live videos they have on Youtube seems to show them having an interesting live set. Their album is also really catchy. I also saw the new Slipknot video today and I can't wait to get ahold of their new disc as well. From the reviews they are all saying that this is the most powerful album they have every written and the most politically charged.
The one thing about being back in Minneapolis that bugs the hell out of me is that the Twins are always on. I can't even get the Brewers games out of Hudson. I have to resort to my stat tracker in my fantasy league. Today I guess Sabathia pitched another gem and Fielder finally coming around. I don't care what anyone says Fielder is not a clutch hitter and I find it amazing how well he plays in Atlanta. I hear they are looking for a First baseman now that they traded Mark Texeira. Fielder or Texeira? Sorry Prince......Texeira is a stud! Don't get me wrong though I am glad the Brewers have Fielder but he will command a shitload of cash this offseason which is amazing for a shitty defender ala Manny Ramierez style. Out of that entire trade between the Pirates, Red Sox, and Pirates. I can't really say that any team got screwed. I am glad Jason Bay has a chance to finally play for a contender in Boston. He is the ultimate team guy and never complains. That would be pretty tough considering he played in Pittsburgh for years. Which reminds me that I have a lot of pictures to upload still.
Here is the new Slipknot video
Friday, August 1, 2008
First step dagger drawn
If you have been reading you know today was my chemo day and test results day. The test results were not bad but were not really good either. What it showed was that the tumors on my spleen and chest seemed to have stopped growing. Unfortunately they are still active though. The tumor on my chest actually shrunk a little bit. This is a big first step in having the tumor shrink more. The only thing is you really can't kill off this cancer. The only thing you can do is to shrink it and remove it. I also had a good chat with the oncologist (Dr.Skubitz) today and we are on the same wave length to a point. He still doesn't believe we can get all of it in surgery at the moment. I told him to let the chemo do the work then lets take the shit out. Today was the new chemo day too. Oh boy just what I wanted to deal with. This chemo is virtually the same thing with way less side effects. I am actually feeling pretty good considering. The only side effects that I am experiencing at the moment is my hands and feet drying out and cracking. It hurts pretty damn good but it is better than walking around nauseated and tired as all hell. They were actually suprised by how well my body handled the chemo, how fast I took the dosages, and how much I was able to take. This new chemo isn't really guaranteed to have any effect on the tumors at all. The one thing they did say is that I would have some pain at the tumor spot from the chemo and tumor duking it out and that I did feel pretty good. Out of this entire thing I am finally feeling comfortable with the progress albeit slow and minimal.I also want everyone out there to know that I am willing to go to any extent to take it out and get rid of it once and for all. If that mean risking my life or anything else on a surgical table you bet your ass I am up for the challenge. Dr.Skubitz did keep telling me (more so trying to convince me) that it is more likely to try and live with it than to go through and try to have it all removed. I insisted that surgery is the only option down the road. With that being said Skubitz had the schedulers make and appointment with Dr.Maddaus to see what his opinion would be. I was going to set up an appointment with him anyways. The procedure Maddaus would wind up doing is remove chest wall completely by stripping off the muscle and some cartilidge and then completely reconstructing everything. It would be a long process and that is fine with me. The only thing is we need to beat the pace of the cancer and chemo seems to be working a little bit. Cancer basically goes to a spot and invades the cells. It also grows twice as fast as normal body cells. With that being said it grows and forms a tumor and spreads into the other cells that it is smothering and kills the body. The fact that I am at the gym nearly every day and eating way healthier is showing some signs of helping out in the fight. That little area that shrunk and I mean little has my hopes up through the roof. Dr.Skubitz was also amazed by the little amount of pain I am in at the moment. He says that is really good considering I was in incredible pain for a while and hopefully shows that the chemo is doing its job. Funny enough, after chemo today I was feeling great besides the pain in my chest form the chemo and tumor fighting, so I went and played raquetball with Chris at the gym then biked for 30 minutes. hahaha. My confidence has been boosted and I at the moment am a rock.
My folks are coming up here tomorrow to check out the American Cancer Hope Lodge that I am currently staying at and spend some time in the big city. I know the people that work here want to meet my folks because I am here pretty much by myself 24/7 with the acception of a few friends that stop by. I think they want to see where my stubborness and arrogance come from. Other than that I don't know what I am going to do with them besides go to Pizza Luces for dinner! You don't come to Minneapolis without eating there it is an absolute must!!!!! I know a few bars to keep them occupied for a while. hahaha.
I also want to give a nice shout out to Joanne who has been all over my ass about staying positive. If you haven't figured out she post in the comments as Twitchy. Everyonce and a while I get an message from her and it is a great confidence booster. So I must say thanks. It isn't just her though she is just more consistent than anyone else. I do greatly appreciate the emails and comments posted. It just goes to show how many lives you cross paths with and if you are one of the good ones you are remembered. Just kick that around for a while and think of all of the places you worked, lived, learned, and partied at. Then think of the characters and good times. it is quite amazing.
I know todays blog is long as all hell and I really want to tell people about a chance encounter I had with an amazing musician I had the day after my 21st birthday. I went to the Machine Head show and met some guy who wound up getting in backstage to meet the band. I will never forget that night because it was something that has built my personality and confidence. I spent about 45 minutes talking to the vocalist/guitarist Robert Flynn. It was quite the conversation because you figure you would just talk about music and it was basically a conversation about life and ones self. I learned from that chance meeting that arrogance is confidence but it is not cockiness. He also told me that if you want something bad enough and work to get it anything can happen. The guy was also amazingly devoted to his wife and talked about her a bit. Just an amazing guy and that I will never forget it seriously instilled a new form of confidence in myself and a small sense of morals. Not many but a few hahaha. Machine Head video below.
My folks are coming up here tomorrow to check out the American Cancer Hope Lodge that I am currently staying at and spend some time in the big city. I know the people that work here want to meet my folks because I am here pretty much by myself 24/7 with the acception of a few friends that stop by. I think they want to see where my stubborness and arrogance come from. Other than that I don't know what I am going to do with them besides go to Pizza Luces for dinner! You don't come to Minneapolis without eating there it is an absolute must!!!!! I know a few bars to keep them occupied for a while. hahaha.
I also want to give a nice shout out to Joanne who has been all over my ass about staying positive. If you haven't figured out she post in the comments as Twitchy. Everyonce and a while I get an message from her and it is a great confidence booster. So I must say thanks. It isn't just her though she is just more consistent than anyone else. I do greatly appreciate the emails and comments posted. It just goes to show how many lives you cross paths with and if you are one of the good ones you are remembered. Just kick that around for a while and think of all of the places you worked, lived, learned, and partied at. Then think of the characters and good times. it is quite amazing.
I know todays blog is long as all hell and I really want to tell people about a chance encounter I had with an amazing musician I had the day after my 21st birthday. I went to the Machine Head show and met some guy who wound up getting in backstage to meet the band. I will never forget that night because it was something that has built my personality and confidence. I spent about 45 minutes talking to the vocalist/guitarist Robert Flynn. It was quite the conversation because you figure you would just talk about music and it was basically a conversation about life and ones self. I learned from that chance meeting that arrogance is confidence but it is not cockiness. He also told me that if you want something bad enough and work to get it anything can happen. The guy was also amazingly devoted to his wife and talked about her a bit. Just an amazing guy and that I will never forget it seriously instilled a new form of confidence in myself and a small sense of morals. Not many but a few hahaha. Machine Head video below.
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