I'm ready to go!

This weekend has been absolutely amazing. I can honestly say I probably have the best group of friends I have ever had in my life. Friday night I went out with my old roomie Jake and some friends to Gluecks in downtown Minneapolis and watched the buzzaroake and had a few beers because I said, "why the hell not?". I had a really good time and with really good people. Saturday morning sucked for the most part. Hangovers suck for the most part! Yeah, blah, blah, blah I know you shouldn't drink before you're surgery. I know I was going to be clean, but I had to get it out of my way a bit. The funny thing was I only had 3 liters and a couple of tall boys. This whole cancer and surgery is really effecting my drinking skills. hahahaha. Know it is bad when you are ranked and the person who can drink the most on facebook. So Saturday I went to check back into the Hope Lodge and gotten that taken care of. Then I went down to Club Underground for my benefit show. It was a very shocking to see the amount of support I got from people and random people at that. Yeah I know I do the same thing to other people but try being in my situation and having you're friend, family, bands, bar staff, and random people coming up to you telling you stories and giving best wishes. It was freaking nuts. I had my easy button repeating thank you all night long. The show was spectacular. All of the bands were bad ass and on their game. I must admit that I was pretty skeptical of the bands on the bill except for two of them because Chris and I never worked with them before. No worries anymore. Having the Stnnng drop off of the bill was probably more of an advantage considering Ouija Radio jumped on and brought a bunch more people with them. Dallas Orbiter would have been awesome to have seen, but like I said take care of family issues first.

If I had to rank my favorites of the night by what I really dug it would look like this:
1.Ouija Radio-I have waited a while to see them including 3 misses in Madison that I had other things happening. Considering they jumped on the bill with 3 days notice they sounded fantastic and were fun as hell to watch. I also talked with their drummer and guitarist/vocalist(who had ovarian cancer). Super nice people and hopefully I can book a few shows with them in the future.
2.Casanatra-The new tunes ruled and of course they just flat out kicked ass. Dennis seriously has the best vocals in the entire scene.
3.Orange Blank-I haven't seen them since Josh joined the band and they are a million times better than before and I really liked them before. Chris also wrote a song called "5%" in dedication to yours truly.
4.Chooglin-As some of you know that when I really got into music I listened to bands like Reel Big Fish, Goldfinger, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Pennywise, and so on. Thier horn section totally made me go back to those days. They were fantastic and closed the show on a fun and excellent note.
5. Landspeeder-Pretty new to the scene, but the songs were excellent and reminded me a bit of Nada Surf by the story telling song style. Those guys will be around a while.
6.Country Dollar Love-The odd ball of the bill. A country band which is normally a rock band. Funny isn't it? They played some Cash tunes. but since I don't like Johnny Cash I didn't care. They only the other hand were actually very entertaining to watch.
7.Condo$-I liked them for the first 5 songs and then it got really repetitive. They have a lot of stage prescence and I would totally want to book them for a few shows myself. The guys I met in the band were cool cats.

I haven't counted anything yet from the door, raffle tickets, and people giving me money I am guessing just over $2,000. That put the grand total to $4,500ish. My bills are almost paid off so that is awesome. I really must thank Chris Peters for putting the whole thing together, Mike(DJ Filth) for being a sweet MC, Josh from Club Underground doing the sound, and to all of the people who donated things to the raffle. It was a great night and I had was feeling great and lucky then went to the casino with two of my friends and put everything on black. No, I took out $60 of my own cash and realized I wasn't that lucky at all. It was awesome though.

Today I went and watched the Packers lose with my friends. I was actually really itching to listen to the Brewers game. I got in my truck afterwards and then listened to the Braun 2 run homer in the 3rd and right then and there I knew they were in. They won and the Mets lost giving the Brewers the wild card spot for the playoffs. I have waited my entire life as I am sure many of you out there have to see this team finally get back to post season play. I shed a tear of happiness over this team finally. Considering we had tickets for this entire weekend series I am a bit dissapointed not to be there to see this moment I have waited for but I don't need to be there to know that my team finally did it.

One last thing wish me luck tomorrow. I am really nervous, but it is time to take care of this thing and finally live my life again. If curious at all I will be at the University of Minnesota-Fairview. I have to be there at 5:30am for prep and surgery is scheduled for 7:45am I am booked out for the entire day in the OR. They say 4 to 8 hours long the surgery could be. I am going to keep my phone on so if anyone wants to know how I am doing you can call 612-210-0626. My folks will have it on them. I should also be in the ICU for a day or two then out to a room for who knows how long. I am ready and it has been a journey from hell and there have been a ton of good things that have come out of this so far. I'll write you all afterwards sometime when I am able. Thoughts and prayers are accepted at my window so wish me luck!

waiting game

Here I am basically waiting for Monday morning to pretty much decide my future. It is bothersome knowing out of all of the surgeries I have had. This is the most dangerous and crucial one out of them all. Not only that I get a little freaked out knowing that they are going to put me out then magically wake up sometime in the afternoon in ICU. I have know idea the amount of pain I am going to be in. Not exactly my idea of a picnic or a walk in the park. The hospital called me today and went over things one more time and it sounds like they are going to be taking the muscle from my abs to cover the goretex. Which they say leaves me more likely to have a hernia down the road. Oh yeah just another thing to deal with. My days of playing sports are probably limited for quite a while. Other than that I am enjoying the fact that Ned Yost is not the Brewers manager anymore and they are tied for the wild card after getting down two games. Suppan better not blow it against the cubs this weekend. One of my favorite players Ryan Braun hit a grand slam in the 10th to win the game last night. It was awesome. I will be sporting the Braun jersey tonite when I head out with some friends to Gluecks for buzzaroake. The Twins game fell through tonight, but whatever it is the Twins.

Brauns Grand Slam

http://milwaukee.brewers.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200809263551541&c_id=mil

Noah's take on that situation:

Dear Jesse Chavez,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with walking batters in a high pressure situation.

signed,
Derrick Turnbow

Show updates

Everything is still a go for the shindig on Saturday. The Stnnng had to drop off of the bill due to scheduling conflicts within the band. I don't know if I buy it but whatever. I was really looking forward to finally seeing them. I have a couple of their discs that I enjoy. I guess Dallas Orbiter had to drop off of the bill due to a death in the family. Family first go take care of business. Chris did land one of the more popular bands in Minneapolis called Ouija Radio for those of you in Madison that go to local shows you might have seen them because they play there quite a bit. We will see how they draw on short notice. I am really looking forward to this show. Casanatra is an awesome band that I have seen a billion time and have played my Rock Cancer Out gigs a few times. They are true veterans of the music scene that still bring it. If Dennis or Lance are reading this just remember that I expect to hear Death Ride simply because that song rules. All in all it is still a killer line up and I can't wait for Saturday to get here.

Ouija Radio

Casanatra

Heres what went down today

Brewers win! They are still a game and a half behind the Mets with 5 games to go. Personally, I think that they are done. It is just nice to see Ned Yost isn't in the dug out.

On to the reason you people read this thing. I had a PET scan this morning to see if anything shrunk or changed. I was there on time and in a crabby mood since I was only able to muster up a couple of hours sleep. Now for a PET scan they have to do a couple of things. Since it is a radioactive sugar that is put into your body they test your blood sugar and they said I was in the perfect range. One less thing I have to worry about. Then they inject it into your arm through an IV connection is is pretty cold going in then they put you in a room for and hour or so to relax and let it work its way through your system. I was so tired and I still couldn't fall asleep I pretty much sat there staring at a wall. It was entertaining trust me. Then the scan last 20-30 minutes and it is the same thing as a CT scan. From there I went back and forth between two departments to get my immunizations set up because that wasn't done. 45 minutes later they got me in a room waiting to have them done. The nurse walked in and said my HIB shot is on back order and that there is a national shortage on it. Damn pharmacutical companies! They are probably holding out for more $ like they seem to do all of the time. That should be a crime. Then I went to go see Dr.Maddaus for the last time until the surgery on Monday. He walked in the room sat down and looked at me then said,"I am going for full rectration of this thing we are getting everything.". I told him,"What other option do I have?". He did say that he didn't think the spleen should be too bad to remove at all. The chest wall should not be an obsticle for him at all. He said he went back over the scans (including the one from earlier) and isnt sure about the spots on my lung. They are close to my heart and he asked me if they are on the heart would I be against having a cardiac surgeon working on me and I said as long as he is good and gets everything. The other thing was depending upon how deep the spots on my lung are when he gets in there he might have to take the upper part of my lung. Once again I told him to take care of business because I don't want to come back. He also said that I will probably be in ICU after the surgery and that depends upon what happens when they are in there. I am trying to think of good things and how I am due for something good but my history with this shit says otherwise. I am scared. Wouldn't you be with all that is going to be going on and the unknowns? I did ask about the length of the surgery and they said I am booked out for the entire day so 4-8 hours. Lets hope it is on the short end which means everything went smooth. That is what I can remember at the moment. I am so exhausted that I am not thinking straight. Which means this is the end for now.

Some pics from previous events

6 days out

That is right I am six days out from my surgery date. Tomorrow morning I have to be at the UofM for a PET scan to see if the tumor has shrunk anymore and to see if there is anymore action going on. After that I have to run up to General care and get my 3 vaccines to help with infections and sickness after the surgery. The I have to run back downstairs to meet with Dr.Maddaus the thoracic surgeon. I am meeting with him because I want to make sure that everything is a go and the other doctors are on the same page. It didn't really hit me until a little while ago that I am getting so close. Especially since I have waited so long to get to this point. I have that little anxiety tingle in my stomach and it is really annoying. I just can't believe that in seven days I am going to be in full out recovery mode. I am ready to get started with the recovery and hopefull end of my cancer battle. Just to remind people that this surgery doesn't mean I am cured of cancer. This is a shot in the dark. I know this will finish my fight with this crap. I know it. Anyways, I am going to have a full day of junk tomorrow and I really hate doing all of this crap. Why can't people have their shit together the first time and schedule everything right in a row. I hate driving back up there all the time for stupid crap that should have been done the first time. Other peoples stupidity is other misfourtune. Isn't that how it goes? So yeah back to this six days out thing. I am really going to be busy this coming weekend. I do hope to take it easy though atleast a little bit. I can sleep after surgery. hahaha. Friday night I am going to the Twins with a few friends and probably over to Gluecks afterwards for buzzaroeke. Saturday is going to be super busy I am going to be checking back into the Hope Lodge with my folks then probably a bite to eat. I have to be at Club Underground around 4pm for the Benefit that Chris put together. I am really looing forward to seeing everyone who comes out and the bad ass bands playing the bill. Sunday will be a chill day but the Packers are on so I might watch the last game for a while with the Green and Gold crew. Who knows? I am pretty much going to be playing everything by ear. So much to do and so many other people involved. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I will be in the gym doing a ton of cardio to get my body a bit more in shape for the upcoming journey. I am still pretty scared about the whole thing. I mean the doctors told me that they have a general idea about what they are going to do when the open me up but don't have a deffinate plan until they see what is going on. You tell me how calm you would be in this situation. I am holding it together pretty well for the time being and I am sure I will lose it Saturday night at some point. When you're name is the reason people are coming together to raise money what do you say? Thank you just doesn't cut it with me. It is a level of appreciation beyond normal gratitude with me. It is hard to let others understand what I am saying. This whole experience has shown me personally that I have some unbelievable friends, strong family and family friends, and there are just great people out there that don't know you at all and they I would like to call the randoms. This journey so far has pointed out who my really close friends are and those who are just nobodies to me now. I want to point out one person in particular who has really shown and told me what true friendship is and that obviously has been Chris Peters. Beyond the normal friend call of duty and I hope that if the table were turned I would do the same for him. I am a big name dropper when it calls for it and this has been warranted. It has been quite amazing. I also wish I could have been at the Janesville benefit last month. That still really bothers me a lot. There is another Kareoke for the Cure set up at my favorite bar in West Allis(Milwaukee) Jimmy B's. I grew up in that bar and if you don't believe me ask my parents, grand parents, or Kevin the bartender. I believe it is set up for Oct. 25th. I myself have been kind of a flake during this whole thing and have used it as an excuse for a few thing. When I caught myself being a jerk and milking it I cut it out real quick and have went back to my standards of working hard and making things look easy. Lets hope I do the same during this recovery. They culdn't keep me down when I have the open heart style procedure. It would take most people three days to get them to walk to the door from their beds and I was up walking around the hospital. Nothing can stop me for getting to the point that I want to be at.

The music update continues. I did buy the new Avenged Sevenfold disc that is unreleased stuff from their last two albums and a live DVD from their Long Beach performance on the Taste of Chaos tour. The unreleased tunes are so good they are basically well polished stuff that they didn't have enough time left on the album to put them on it. The DVD is awesome and totally captures the band in their element. I saw them in Milwaukee this past winter with J-Riv and they were pretty freaking sweet then I saw them back in last fall when I was in So.Cal. at the Warped Tour. They are a great live band.

This is the live version of Afterlife from the DVD

This is the music video you can see how good the two guitarists are because they don't miss a note live

Side Note

I feel pretty good this morning and there isn't really any other problems besides my hand and feet feeling like they are completely raw. When I soak them in warm water they feel so much better. I haven't been able to find the skin coat yet. No one seems to have a clue what the hell I am talking about so I elect to just continue my search quietly. The rash has gone down so much and the itching and pain has really subsided. I am thinking of hitting the gym for a little bit. Since my gym pass is for the New Brighton location I will be driving over the new I-35 bridge. The bridge opened up this morning I think. Pretty crazy to think that thing collapsed and a year later they rebuilt it wider and supposidly able to help eliminate some of the chemicals from exhaust. It is going to be awesome not to take all of the crappy detours cutting through Dinkytown. Well that is all I got for now.

Random Things

Today was a really odd day. I did go into work and talked to my manager Brian and told him that I was done working until I am healed and back from surgery. The dermatologist suggested to me that I try and lay low and not do much of anything at all so my body and skin can heal up properly. I was done with work next week any how so it didn't seem like much of a big deal to me timing wise. The rash has really started to look like skin again. The itching and burning has really subsided alot. The discoloration has also started to go away. Not bad for one day of using 3 topical creams and a wash cloth with vinegar on it. I am confident it will be cleared up for the most part by Saturday or Sunday. The tiny purple spots have been going away after two washes with the peroxide soap. Obviously, certain areas are better than others. I need it all to go away soon though to make sure I can workout hardcore and be ready to go. Tomorrow, I am going to go up to the U of M hospital and get my immunizations at the general clinic. The three immunizations that are given are for pnumonia, influenza, and meningitis. They generally want these shot to be given right at 14 days before hand so it has enough time to circulate through the body and do its job. I haven't talked to Dr.Chipman since I was last in the surgery office. One thing I do for sure remember about Dr.Chipman was that they do not relay information to him very well and he didn't seem like much of a morning person. I just don't hope all three of the surgeons go out party and tie one on for the football games the previous day. I don't think I would enjoy that.....hahahaha.

Albums I've been jamming

I am just going to use a simple out of 5 rating system:

1 worst album ever

2 a dud but one or two good ones

3 completely average

4 great tunage

5 classic album

Metallica - Death Magnetic 4/5

Slipknot - All Hope is Gone 4/5

Craig David - Trust Me 3/5

Katsumoto - Burn em Down Wipe em Out 3/5

Mitch Hedberg - Do You Believe in Gosh? 4/5

I Hate Kate - Embrace The Curse 3/5

Taproot - Our Long Road Home 4/5

Amon Amarth - Twilight of The Thunder God 3/5

Nick Swardson - Party! 3/5

That is what I have bought and listened as of lately or over the last two months. All of the albums were enjoyable, but like you can tell there were are few that I was more impressed with. The new Slipknot disc was really heavy and the song were more standard than their previosuly written stuff. Metallica's Death Magnetic is a perfect mix of the old school albums like And ustice For All and Ride The Lightning mix with their newer ones such as Load and Reload. Great disc to listen to when needing to get pumped up. Taproots new album came out this past Tuesday and I must say that it is enjoyable. Closer to the lines of their last album Blue Sky Research that was a more commercial rock type with well written and lovely heartfelt songs. This means it is night and day from their first release, Gift. Which was easily one of the heaviest albums I have ever heard. The thing I love about new Taproot is that they are not that typical metal band that has lyrical content that is all violent and negative. That trend seems to be dying out of the genre all together though which is nice to see. There are more songs being written about politics, life, and positive moments. As for Taproot the lyrical content is mostly about life in general. Mitch Hedbergs newly released album is by far his funniest one to be released and it is a shame that the guy had such a major drug problem and passed on from it. He was a comedic gold.

Dermatologist

Well I am a couple weeks removed from the chemo dosage that I last got on the 28th of August and I still am not back to feeling like nothing happened. I do feel quite a bit sluggish. Although as I stated before I had a rash on the side of my leg. The general doctor I went and saw said it was probably a small yeast infection that can be cleared up in a week with an ointment. Well I used the ointment and it started to get worse and spread. On Friday, I called the doctor to inform him that things have gotten much worse and it is very painful to move at all. He told me that I would have to see a dermatologist to get a better answer and the correct diagnosis. They sent me to a dermatologist in the Uptown area because the University of Minnesota's dermatology clinic was booked all the way out to the middle of October. So I get into Uptown get a bad ass street parking spot which never happens in that part of town. Walking was quite the chore since the pain and itching was so intense. I had an anti bacterial cream and antibiotic on it to help and it really wasn't at all. Then I had to climb stairs and that was extremely painful, but atleast I was smart enough to bring my bottle of oxycodone with. The problem is that the infected area seems to dry out and clamp onto any type of clothing it is next to. I also has cracked and started bleeding. Anyways, I get into the room and I go over my current medical history, family history, medication, and the situation assessment with the doctor and and then he looked at it and took swab tests for a bacterial and viral infections. He believes it is a combination of a yeast infection and a bacterial infection. To no surprise it has gotten infected in one area. Naturally, I was like well write up the prescriptions and tell me which ones to use when and how. Before I go any further I have to tell you that these tiny purple dots have been showing up all over my body. When I was pulling my pants up he saw a patch of them on my leg and he stopped me and asked me a bunch of questions about them such as: How long have they been there? How bad do they itch? and do I see blood in my urine? My response was that I have only noticed them within the last week and they itch pretty good in certain areas of my body and I am not peeing blood at all. The spots appear to be connected to where hair folicles come out of the skin and means that it could be nothing but a need for a soap called Benzoyl Peroxide. It is used in extremely bad cases of acne or infections at the hair folicles entry. Now I did not get the name of the condition because it was goofy and long. The other condition is not a good one and it shares the same name with another one added to the end of it. The only way to really determine which one I have is to have a biopsy done. Oh boy just what I wanted to hear. This other condition is actually the start of something that can possibly push back my surgery date. The spots could be an indication of blood vessels dying out at the ends. That could be an indication of a problem with my kidney. After the doctor told me that I had a moment because the surgeon performing my splenectomy said that the tumor is right next to my kidney on my spleen. Dr.Chipman also said that tissue transfer from the tumor on my spleen to the kidney was a possibility. Now obviously this has me worried. They I mean how many more problem could one guy posibly have. I have lived much healthier and been much happier since everything started up over again. Back to the Dermatologist. He wanted to do a biopsy and he said that it is easier to get skin from the buttocks. My response was please don't tell me I have to bend over to far. They shot my right cheek up with lidocaine and took a smalle portion and put in two stitches. I have to not get the Peroxide soap into the area where they biopsied because I will be screaming at the top of my lungs and it dries the skin out a bit. To get a jump start on the hopeful outcome of the biopsy that is why he set me up with the soap. I was given some pretty large instructions and a good amount of perscriptions. Before I put the ointments on the infection each time I am supposed to clean the area with a 3 parts tap water and 1 part white distilled vinegar mix. I have never heard of doing that before and the dermatologist said vinegar is actually a great way to help clean and kill bacteria out of rashes. I never would have thought in a million years but reguardless I am doing it each time. I am also supposed to mix the Ketoconazole(instead of the originally prescribed stuff that he believes I had an allergic reaction to) for the yeast infection part and the Hydocortisone for the bacterial infection on the infected area and put a towel with the vinegar mix over the top of it so the skin can absorb it better. I am supposed to do that 3 times a day for 30 minutes a crack. After two times already I am seeing a difference. It doesn't hurt as bad as it once did that is for sure. Then I was also given Mupirocin ointment to put on 3 times a day to help cleanout the bacteria. The vinegar hurts quite a bit when using it to clean the area, but I have never felt a burning pain sensation like I do with theMupirocin. All in all I have seen a small change already and that is great. The constant pain from that area has gone away and has subsided.
I also made an appointment with Dr.Maddaus the Thoracic surgeon again just to make sure we are on the same page with all of the doctors involved and to see if there is anything else I need to do. My concern at the moment is that this infection doesn't go away fast enough. I will not be having the surgery because I cannot afford to have any type of infection with the removal of my spleen. If I the results do come back and I do have the bad version of the spots then the surgery could be pushed back until that situation is resolved. That is pretty major and it is another item that can't messed up going into the surgery. I have that appointment next Tuesday right after the PET scan I am taking to determine how large/small the tumors currently are. I feel the one in my chest has shrunk noticibly enough that it should make the surgery easier. Dr. Chipman's nurse also called me and told me that I needed to go into my general doctors office and get 3 immunization shots because of the removal of the spleen. I asked what they were and at the moment the only one I remember was menengitis and I will look up what the other ones up later. It would be nice to have known that I had to get these done right away when I saw Dr.Chipman right? How about having them done right there when I was in his office. Then again, the guy had no idea at that time why I was in his office to begin with.
So everyone out there we have to hope that the tiny dots are nothing and that the infection clears up right away.

Go Pack Go!

So far so good. Aaron Rodgers is looking good. Packers are 2-0 good things so far. My Aaron Rodgers jersey is 2-0 this season. Hell yeah!

Zips @ UW

My old roomie Jason sent me this picture of us in front Bucky at the first gameday party of the season.
Front row left to right: Jess and myself
Middle row left to right: Jason, Bill, Dave, Dani, Mr.Lawler, Tim
On the Porch: Andy
I took Jess's room when she moved out and I was roommates with Jason, Bill, and Dave. Jason, Dave, and I graduated high school together. Dani is Dave's fiance. Tim and Andy are friends of the group. This is a great picture with great people.

General Surgeon

I had my last appointment to see a doctor until the actual surgical date. Dr.Chipman is who is going to be doing the spleen removal. My first impression of the guy was not a good one. He seemed like he was still asleep or hung over. He had no idea why I was even there. Their note never transferred over to him so he had to look everything up himself. Now I have never gotten a major case of anxiety or an upset stomach in a doctors office before, but today I did and I had to remove myself from the room for a minute so I could settle down and not hurl on the guy. Everything pretty much rushed up on me all at once. I mean all of these doctors would rather tell me the negatives than what the positives are. It is just adding to me freaking out. I do understand that there is significant risk involved in all of this including paralisis and death. With the removal of the spleen I am more suseptable to infections and sepsis. If an infection does occur it is fast and can be lethal so it is a tricky thing and I have to get my immune system in great shape over the next few weeks. When we looked at my spleen I asked him the steps of the procedure and what he sees. Basically he cuts off two ends of the spleen right away the first is from the pancreas and the other is the stomach. There are also more blood vessels that need to be cut off and manuevered around. It was quite clear that I had a huge blood vessel next to my spleen that needed to be manuevered around. Because of where the tumor is on my spleen (sitting at the end next to the Kidney) it might be a bit trickier to remove from there and if the kidney was touching it and it looks like there was tissue transfer they might have to take my kidney as well. Everything is all "ifs" because they really won't know until they cut me open and start going at it. In all honesty what choice do I have? None. I can deal with the chance of crap happening to me afterwards, but "living with it" like my oncologist in Minnesota wanted me to is not an option to me. Why the hell should it be? I am 27 and I have had a large portion of my 20's taken and consumed by this damn disease. I feel I need to spread the information I have to others in my age bracket and cancer type. What helped me will help others I know it. I am bound and determined to speak to others in groups and a book if I can learn how to write in proper English and punctuations. That also is if I can keep my head together. I am on the verge of complete break down and just loosing it. I know, I know, I know there are plenty of people I can call and talk to about anything going on. Thing is that I can't really talk at the moment and I don't really want to talk to people about what is going on. Hell, ask my folks I am pretty much trying to keep the conversations short and avoiding things. Everything is just starting to build up and get under my skin. I mean look at what happened at the doctors office today. I am starting to crack. I am going into work tomorrow to try and loose my mind there then working out like a mad man tomorrow night. After that I think I am showing up to poker night over and my buddy Newmans house. Hopefully it helps out a bit.

Plastic Surgeon

Today I met with my plastic surgeon. I really like the guy. Very straight forward and kinda smug. My kind of guy. His website is www.drlandis.com So we sat down for a half an hour and had a nice conversation about the possibility of things that he could do. Option #1 was nothing. He might just leave it bare because he is not sure how much muscle and tissue will actually be taken. #2 Take muscle from just underneath my shoulder blade and stretch it around to cover the actual hole up. #3 Is to take muslce frm my left abdomin area and stretch that to cover the hole (this option is easier than #2 but I have a higher risk of a hernia down the road). #4 is the last option and that is to take a chunk of the excess fat/skin from my beer gut and transfer that (this is the least likely option). He really won't know until he gets in there and takes a look at Dr.Maddaus's job. Dr.Landis also told me that if there was a surgeon he would send his family to it would be Maddaus. I told him that he is the reason I am here in Minneapolis taking care of business. He also told me that he specializes in reconstruction surgery which made me feel a whole lot better. I really didn't want a plastic surgeon who did nothing, but boob jobs all day. He also informed me that I really will not be able to lift anything for up to 3 months after the surgery. Sounds like a bunch of fun to me.

Today has been one hell of a day besides that for me. I have an infection on the side of my leg that I went and got some ointment for and is pissing me off to no end. The chemo has made my body so suseptable to infections that I get them all of the time. The mouth sores have pretty much doubled in quantity and pain. I really can't talk for too long at a time. I try and to no avail. I am supposed to wash and gargle my mouth out with salt water to clean the wounds but it hurt so bad the first time I tried it that I said screw that noise. Now my feet are really beginning to hurt when I walk. My hands really haven't changed much at all though. This stuff needs to clear up by the end of this weekend so I can get back to working out hardcore getting my immune system and body prepared for the surgery. The surgery by the way is less than three weeks out. I am terrified still, but a bit more assured about things. I know my folks and friends are worried as well.

Tomorrow.....Spleen Doctor.

Benefit show in Minneapolis

My friend Chris or Topher has put together an unbelievable lineup of Minneapolis bands to help raise $ to pay my medical bills. The show is Sept.27th $7 cover 5pm doors and at Club Underground.

Been a while

I must say sorry for the delay on any blog I haven't written in the past week or so. As nearly everyone knows I went to Madison last weekend, but what happened Sunday night put me out of comission for a few days. I just walked in the door and started to put things away from the weekend. I started to feel kind of chilly so I went and put on my hoodie. Then my head started to throb and I felt really really sick. It was almost like the flu. I went and took my temperature and I was already at a 100. I went and layed down in bed. I was pretty much like this until Thursday morning. I had a temp. right at 102 for 4 nights in a row, I couldn't make it up the stairs without stopping to rest or catch my breath, and I was not able to sleep more than an hour or two at a time. My lungs hurts so bad during the whole thing as well. Traci kept telling me to go to the hospital and she was going to take me if I told her I needed to go but I am stubborn and that wasn't going to happen. I did decide Wednesday night that I was basically going to sweat this thing out. I wrapped myself up in towels and covered up in 4 heavy blankets. It was pretty gross and the outcome was fantastic. I felt like a million bucks Thursday morning. Almost like I had not been sick at all. I do think it was the double chemo dosage that made me that sick because I had those same effects when I was on my first type of chemo. I wonder if they gave me that type again? They are both the same color out of the bag so who knows. She did ask me about my MUGA scan again though. So just maybe they did give me the old stuff. Either way it sucked terribly four nights. As of recently I am starting to get really bad mouth sores. They are so annoying and hurt. I have four of them at the moment. My feet and hands are pretty bad too. They are getting red easily and my feet just flat out hurt after a short while. I just try to ignore them as much as I can.

This was another fun weekend. Since I was feeling better I went to Madison again to party and help cheer Bucky on to victory. It was good to see friends again and talk to people I haven't seen in a while. My dad came up and helped drain a barrel even whooped some ass in flip cup. Now I know where I get my talent from. The Badgers did give everyone a scare in the first half of the game as well, but then Bucky reared back and lit them up for 51 unanswered points to continue thier dominance of non-conference teams.

As for this coming week I have a few doctors appointments. Since I was sick last week I had to reschedule with the plastic surgeon for Wednesday. I thought initially this was going to be the most important appointment I was going to have but the surgeon performing the splenectomy is the more important one. After I read up on the procedure to remove the spleen I found out it is a pretty risky one. There is a high rate of infection and a chance of blood clots. Obviously those are two things that can lead to death quickly or a long battle afterwards. At moments I have to wonder what I am getting myself into, but what choice do I really have. I seriously hope that everything goes smooth. I am due for something good and easy to finally happening in this whole battle. I have to think that I am just worrying and readying into things to much. My biggest fear obviously is not coming out of the surgery at all. That is in the back of my mind everyday leading up to the 29th. For every surgery I had before it never was but because of the magnitude of this one it is worrying me a lot more than what I remember about before the open heart surgery. I am terrified and hopeful all in the same.

jon stewart rules

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=184086&title=sarah-palin-gender-card

New sense of myself

During times like these it is always an amazing shot in the arm to spend time with people that honestly care about you and aren't afraid to say it. It just goes to show the character of my friends. As everyone knows I went back down to Madison this past weekend to celebrate the Badgers victory over the Akron Zips. I went to Eau Claire and picked Andy up on Friday and we headed on into town. I also had a few other friends from Eau Claire who came on down to Madison to party as well. Naturally, I wanted to hang out with them as much as possible. When we all met up at Gennas up by the Capitol we had a few and decided to go and bar hop all the way down State Street. It was quite the adventure since it was Andy, myself, Bowden, Kara, Steph, and about 8 other of their friends that live in Madison. I had a really good time. So after bar close Andy and I take the drunk bus back to the house and met up with the other guys. A few of us sat out on the porch and hung out and just shot the shit for a while. I had a nice talk with my old roomie Dave and it was quite an uplifting talk about my entire situation and just life in general. Dave is always good for those talks and motivating moments. For the most part most part everyone that I have meet and interacted with while living in Madison have been really good people. I can't really saw many bad things about all of the folks that I still talk to and deal with regularly from that area. I also saw Joe Litchfield and his new girlfriend at Gennas earlier that evening after him and Jay went out for diner for his birthday. Joe is a super nice guy as well. I guess that the moral of the story here is I never really appreciated or realized how nice and awesome my friends are. Obviously, my Eau Claire and Minneapolis friends mean the world to me as well but coming back to Madison and hear the way people were expressing their concerns over my health and life was a lot more that I normally get from people. I guess I just wasn't expecting what I got. There were also quite a few things that I did hear from people and they were about how I should keep the mustache instead of growing back the beard or chin hair and the other was about how good I look physically. I haven't lost much weight at all since I started working out and eating a lot more healthier maybe 10-15lbs, but my waist has shrunk a bit and my beer gut, nuoffer chin, and chest have tightened up quite a bit. If I can notice it when I look in the mirror then I am sure everyone else can to. I heard those things so often on Friday and Saturday that it made me pretty happy about my personal decision to get into shape and feel better about my health and physique.

Saturday was a totaly riot. The morning started off pretty slow and it wasn't from a hang over but because it was so hot and there really is no shade infront of the house. I did get sunburn from it and that was going to happen regaurdless because of my sensitivity to light....thank you chemo double dose. Jay bought an 8ft inflatable Bucky and had it up next to the porch and it was hilarious to see all of the families that would walk off of the street to get their pictures infront of it. It was funny because these kids were so happy to see a big ol Bucky infront of them and then you had a bunch of drunk people everywhere. There was one guy who had his wife and two kids pose with jay who was wearing his polka lovers vest. Crazy stuff I am telling you. I spent most of the game hanging out with my friend Michelle who is an absolute sweet heart and I get along with her quite well. Her and I get along because we both have health issues (she has diabetes type1) and it is easy for us to relate and talk about our situations. I must say though that I have never in my life met someone besides myself that is more determined to accomplish their goals. It was nice to have that conversation with her and calm myself down about everything going on in my world. I can say that she is by far one of the best people that I met in Madison over my two years there. There were so many cool people I know personally or just from gameday parties. So here is a small list of people that I am going to say hey it was good to see you again. Timmy, Jess and Josh, Kenny and Danielle, Brodie and the pooch Porter, Brent, Julia, Margie, Kate(Michelles roomie), The former W house 3rd floor and company, Ryan next door, and finally Dave and Dani. If I forgot anyone...sorry. So if you haven't heard yet the Badgers rolled over the Akron Zips as well on Saturday for their first victory of the year. So far so good, but it is a non-conference game the are supposed to win. As I also predicted at the bars the night before that the Badgers were not going to cover the vegas spread and they didn't. I wish I put some cash down on it now. hahaha. Well what can I say besides the fact that another Super Saturday is in the books.

I do have to come clean about something from this weekend. I played a pretty good game face Friday and Saturday until the evening. I was in a lot of pain in my shoulder, hands, and now my feet. The doctors told me that I am going to have quite a bit more reaction to the chemo since I recieved twice the dosage. Saturday night was my breaking point though. I left the house party we were at and walked back to the house because it felt like my entire shoulder locked up. Almost like it was one big cramp, but very sharp. I pretty much slammed a ton of water trying to dilute any alcohol in my system and popped a 5mg oxycodone. Luckily Jennifer came over to see me and say hi since I was in town and rubbed my shoulder down for quite a while and it helped out tremendously. I wonder what is going on with that area. I mean it is a constant ache and sharp pain that does not go away. The doctors think it is the nerves being messed with because of the action happening in my chest. I guess that is all I can hope for.

Well party people I am calling it a night and I will write more tomorrow. I hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend. Don't labor yourself! muahahaha!